Ramblings of a Crowe

I'm doing it! I really, really am!

Tuesday.

On Tuesday, I will by a Mac. I was going to wait, but it's become too much to bear. So, with the help of my fearless leader, J, I will officially jump ship and hopefully swim to not so BLUE waters (bad pun intended).

Deer Roping

My sister e-mailed me this story today. I laughed my ass off.

Deer Roping

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The
first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since
they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear
of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and
sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it
and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and
transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed w ell back. They
were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up -
3 of them.

I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the
feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have
a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was
mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards
it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and
received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to
action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me
off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to
me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I
originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much
stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and
not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed
to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was
mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted
to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I
just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely
die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at
all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I
would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against
various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still
think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I
shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were
in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death so I
managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a
little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope
&nbs p;back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its
head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than
a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I
reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer
will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their
hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an
animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get
away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make
an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to
back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a
deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a
millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a little
girl and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is t hat there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil,
because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the
head and knocked me down.

Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on
you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering
your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer
went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split
open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty
good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my
back was bleeding in a few p laces, though my insulated canvas jacket
had protected me from most of the worst of it.

I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the
truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who
ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling
"what happened?"

I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit
an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that
they h ave overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which
law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was
concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint
my actions as criminal.

I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally
stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a
deer". I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it.

The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my
jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my
face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to
come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did.

Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted
to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare
thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to
describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was

filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just

started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid

or insane or something.

EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the
co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in
the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried
rifles when they filled their feeders.

I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I
have to see these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk".
I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my
back and whispering "there is the dumbass that tried to rope the
deer."

Hee hee! Otakus...

Lookie! I got another one!

Your icons are ok....but this site SUX cause you are biased!! That's right and I am a Sasuke fan...Naruto's a whiny bitch!! Sasuke ROX!!

Dear Yukina_chump,

I'm sorry me not liking a cartoon character has hurt your feelings. Silly people of the world! How DARE they not share the same opinion as you! So, for the pain that I have caused you (and because I have nothing better to do with my time today), I've made more crappy icons in your honor. I hope you accept this offering of peace. Enjoy!

Filed under:Stupid otaku, stupid fangirls, stupid fan boys, naruto, sasuke, icons, I am a bitch

LMAO!

So this is what I come home to...

So yesterday I picked my son up from his tennis lessons--just like any other day. On the way home, we were chatting about his day and he shows me his arm, which has been scratched to hell. I laughed and asked him what happened, because my son has inherited my less than stellar style of grace. Just last week he came home sporting a mangled hand from a Petey he did on the pavement. When he told me he fell down, I replied, "Well, that was stupid." Then I got him a band-aide and all was right with the world again.

This time, however, I didn't find his answer so amusing. He told me some kid on the bus had done it to him. At first I sort of shrugged it off, because little boys scuffle. But then he told me the kid who did this wasn't a friend and had bothered him in the past. I asked my son if he told the kid to leave him alone, and he said that he had but the kid just kept coming at him. What set me off was when he told me this child had actually tried to bite him, but my son had held his head against the bus seat so he couldn't.

At this point I'm wondering what in the hell the bus driver is doing. Some heathen is ripping kids up on the bus and no one has noticed? I asked my son if he told the bus driver what was going on, and he told me (exact words here), "No. They won't do anything about him anyway."

At this point I told my son, if he does this to you again, punch him in the friggen mouth. He just sort of looked at me and I told him he has every right to defend himself if someone is trying to hurt him. Especially if the adults who are responsible for him while he's at school don't feel inclined to protect him.

Of course, this didn't go over well with my mother. She told me, "They'll expel him if he hits another kid". That just pissed me off even more. Apparently this kid is notorious for hitting, harassing, threatening other children. The logic that he is allowed to even be at a 'normal' school baffles me. And it does not compute in my brain that my son has to sit there and just take whatever he dishes out.

Screw that.

Enter my mad letter writing and photo taking skills. I photographed my son's left arm (which was the worst) and his right hand (which had only a few welts on it). I sat down and wrote a page long letter to the principal of the school, telling him that it is unacceptable that my son come home with cuts on his arms and hands, inflicted by another child. I also told him that it bothers me my son doesn't feel that any of the staff will do anything to help him when this kid starts bugging him. I told him that I've taken photos of this incident, he is more than welcome to have a copy of them, and if he doesn't contact me, I'll forward my letter to the Superintendent and the School Board.

I just shake my head over this. I mean, back in my day, if a kid behaved this way, he'd get his butt beat or tossed out of school. But now a days, any little heathen is allowed to roam the halls, abusing other people's kids, and the teachers just turn their heads the other way. What the hell is wrong with this country?

Devil May Cry TV

The animated TV show will begin in April, according to sources. Also, the Tales of Symphonia OVA will be released in June. Other than that, I don't see anything too interesting coming out this Spring, despite the mass amount of new shows being released. Claymore is the only one I'll probably catch, just because the first chapter of the manga was interesting enough to hold my attention.

A Profound Statement

"It's like, the nutsack of my soul is being punched everyday."

When I read this over on Az's journal, tears sprang to my eyes. So beautiful.

Zambuzula

Today I purchased tiki tiki checks.

I feel complete now.

Harsh

Poor kitty!

But I still loled.

Giant Snakes and Frogmen! Oh my!

In the newest installment of the Naruto manga, Sasuke and Orochimaru go head to head. Oro is obviously at a disadvantage. Can you blame him? Who fights well while wearing their PJs?

What's the point of pinning his arms when he can't used them anyway? Tactical error, eh Sasuke?

Kill it! Kill it with fire!

Frogman vs Snakething. Where's Godzilla when you need him?

I supposed the real question we're all asking is, How do you kill someone who is immortal? I'm guessing Sasuke'll cut Oro into little squiggly pieces, then run off to get his ass kicked by his badass brother that he hates so much (I hope so). And in a twist, Oro won't really be dead. Little Oro pieces will infest Kabuto and seek revenge against the Uchiha brothers.

...or something like that.

洋画 Western Movies

No, I'm not talking about Clint Eastwood. I'm talking about movies made not in Asia. Specifically, Hollywood movies in this case.

Hollywood movies are popular in Japan, as are their actors. It's not uncommon to see famous faces from the US promoting products on Japanese TV. People like Arnold the Govenator, for example. Or Keanu Reeves and Demi Moore.

Sometimes the movie titles are translated literally, using Japanese or Katakana English. Here's a few examples:

エデンの東 (eden no higashi) East of Eden
逃亡者　(toubousha) The Fugitive
ファーゴ　(faago) Fargo
ユー・ゴッタ・メール (yuu gotta meeru) You've Got Mail

However, sometimes they aren't and the titles the translators come up with leave us Westerners scratching our heads. For some reason the word "Love", ai or koi in Japanese, is quite popular in Japan...

愛が壊れるとき (Ai ga kowareru toki) When Love is Broken = Sleeping with the Enemy

恋に落ちたら (Koi ni ochitara) When Falling in Love = Mad Dog and Glory

恋愛小説家 (Renai shousetsuka) A Romance Novel Writer = As Good As It Gets

愛と悲しみの果て (Ai to kanashimi no hate) The End of Love and Sorrow = Out of Africa

Strangely enough, many of the changes make sense...in some twisted way or another. Others, however, don't:

マルコビッチの穴 (Marukobicchi no ana) The Hole of Malkovitch = Being John Malkovitch

モンタナの風に抱かれて (Montana no kaze ni dakarete) Held by the Wind in Montana = Horse Whisperer

真実の行方 (Shinjitsu no yukue) The Place Truth Has Gone = Primal Fear

Interesting. I wonder how they come up with these titles? One has to wonder...

Poor Europe

Sony, Sony, Sony. What are we going to do with you? Word through the grapevine is you've shafted our European friends once again. First, they have to wait longer for the release of the PS3, but then they have to pay more, and now their consoles won't have any backwards compatibility (except for a few games).

What?

Or even a better question, "What the hell is happening over at Sony?" I'm under the impression the company has gotten too big for its britches and needs to be taken down a notch or two. They aren't the only people making game consoles. Sure they've got all this cool stuff, but in my experience their game consoles are hardly top of the line. They break easily, and for the price of a PS3, I'll have to say I'm leery of dropping that much cash on a product that might last a year (I've had three PS3--4 if you count the one I bought for my son). Durability and longevity certainly aren't their strong suits.

Yeah, they've got the game library. Well, they did in Europe's case. Now these people will have PS2 games but no way to play them after their old console gives up the ghost. X-box was off to a slow start in this department, offering up games for sports fans and shooters mostly, but now they've actually acquired some games that appeal to other genres of gamers--and they don't look all that bad. Plus, the X-box is way cheaper. Sure, it doesn't have blu-ray but it does have an available HD DVD player if you're into that (which I am). And don't discount the Wii. Nintendo got lost in the tide of 360 vs PS3, but came back with a vengeance with their newest console. It's cheaper than the other consoles, but I've always been impressed with the durability of Nintendo products. Never have I had to replace anything. I've had my Game Cube for years, and not one problem. My DS gets dropped and kicked around and it runs like a champ. I only gave up the gameboy for newer stuff. That says something about the workmanship Nintendo puts into their stuff. And Nintendo seems to remember that gaming is about fun. The more fun they make their stuff, the more they're going to sell. T fun factor went through the roof with the Wii. Instead of just mashing buttons, gamers are throwing their controllers through TVs. Sweet.

So Sony, you've led the pack for awhile, but all these bad business decisions are going to come back and bite you in the ass. This time around, your competition has a bead on you and your public is watching closely.