Ramblings of a Crowe

Bleach just gets better and better

It's about time they showed up...

What's for Lunch?

I've discovered something that takes my minds off of my worries.

Cooking.

I realized that when I cook, I worry so much about what I'm cooking, I forget everything else. Of course, this is only short term, but it does offer some relief from the drama that surrounds me these days.

Surprisingly, some of the stuff I make turns out really good. Like the curry we had for dinner a couple weeks ago. And today, I've out done myself...by making Salmon steaks for lunch. Just tossed those bad boys into the oven, covered for about 20 minutes, then uncovered for another ten. WOW...they turned out GOOD! I'm a bit shocked. Now I'm getting ready to eat them with some smoked muscles and prawns. YUMMY!!!!!

Okay, now back to worrying about important stuff...

Gettin To Me

I can't sleep tonight. Everytime I lay down, I start thinking about not having a job and how much I hate my old managers from putting me in this situation. Then I start to worry whether or not I'll find a job before unemployment runs out. In short, I'm getting pretty depressed...and worried.

Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Why did this have to happen?" Then I get mad when I remember how hard I worked for TG--and this is how they repay me. Then I worry if that scum bag JD is saying nasty things about me to any people who call him. He's done that in the past, even though he's not supposed to. Even though he said that I did nothing wrong and it was just a business decision, I don't trust that guy any further than I can throw him--and that's not very far.

I hate not working. I really, really hate it. All I do is worry and with each passing day it gets worse. Maybe I should have taken that job in Idaho. Sure, I would've had to live in my car, but at least I'd be employed...

None of the old tactics of thwarting the "What Ifs" seem to work. I try to read, play games, write, study Japanese, but I find myself drifting on into the land of worry and uncertainty. I really see no way to solve my problem other than getting a job soon--and I can't wave a wand and make someone hire me. So I find myself stuck, without a plan and losing hope.

It sucks.

Life really sucks right now.

I am not happy.

Woe is me... *weak laugh*

I'll keep looking for a job. That's all I can do. I'll keep praying something comes my way soon. *shrug* I'll try to make the best of things right now. But that doesn't leave me feeling very good.

Tales of Legendia

This game had so much potential to be great, but I can't be more disappointed in Namco right now. What the Hell was this? I understand that Tales of Symphonia was a stellar example of an RPG and that living up to it would be difficult, but I couldn't prepare myself more for the disappointment that is Legendia.

*sigh* I just reached the end boss and turned it off because I could care less how the story ends. Not only is it confusing, as if they patched together some rag tag patchwork quilt, but it's so linear it's not even funny. There were a few shining moments where I went, "Okay, this is where they turn it around" but it never happened. Why should I give a damn about these characters? Half of them are annoying and you want to kill them yourself. The ones that are actually cool, save the main character Senel, don't show up until the end of the game.

Where are all the sidequests? Why isn't there more interaction with the environment? Where is the beautiful character development that made TOS stand out? WTF is the matter with this game? What happened to the shocking revelatons that kept us on our toes? *tears hair out*

There were some good points to Legendia. Very few. The music and animations cuts were awesome. The environments were beautiful and the character designs interesting. The battle system was okay too, not that much different from what I remember of TOS. And the voice acting was good too, plus there were some funny lines that made me laugh once or twice.

I'm really sad about this. I'm still a bit shocked that I've already finished the game. I spent hours and hours on TOS, but this one...I've hardly put any effort into it--and now it's done. Well, kinda, since I still need to beat the boss guy, but like I said, I'm bored of it and want to play Granida 3 instead. Hopefully it won't be a disappointment as well.

Living With Rejection

So today I got my first rejection letter. One of the interviews I went to sent me an apologetic note telling me how they were impressed but chose someone else. *shrug* What do you do? I have another interview tomorrow. Hopefully that'll go well. It's not exactly the type of job I'm searching for, but at this point, a job is a job. My unemployment will run out in about two more months, so I'm feeling the pressure of losing the one source of income I have at the moment.

DAMN YOU TG! DAMN YOU JD! (references to old job)

*sigh* To top that off, my allergies are killing me and I'm getting a cold.

DAMN YOU DUST STORM OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!

But on a good note, I have several videogames to entertain me if I get too depressed. Even better, I've made going to the gym a point of my day. It has to happen, or I just feel bad. So I get up at 7 or 8, haul ass to ride a bike for about 11 miles, then go home. I feel so much better after I do that.

So to lift my spirits, I am posting this:

Okay, I'm off to play Animal Crossing.

But it's diiiiiiiirty!

So, today my unemployed ass was watching TV and I saw a commercial. It was this mom driving in her car to pick up her kid from school. She's reading off a checklist of things to talk to the kid about and at the bottom was 'sex'. Underneath that were STDs and Pregnancy. So the kid gets into the car, he's like maybe 8 and she starts going through her list and then gets to the 'sex' part. This is where she asks him about a school dance and I go, "Bwuah?".

Why do Americans need commercials to tell them "Talk to your kids about sex"? Why? WHY? Is the moral stick really that far up our asses? Jeezus on a tricycle...

It's not that hard folks. Little Jimmy comes home and asks where babies come from. Just friggen TELL HIM! Nobody is saying make it into a graphic, pornographic tale of vices and carnal lust for Christ sake.

So you think the Bible says sex is dirty? Let me tell you something, those people in the Bible were havin lots and lots of sex. They were sleepin with their daughters, sisters, and neighbor's wives. Even the angels wanted a piece of the action. And Jesus was friends with a prostitute!

OH NOEZ!

Really...do people ever really read the Bible, or do they just read the parts they want to read? That's kinda like sticking your fingers in your ears and going "La la la la la", isn't it?

Anyway, back to my original point...

Talking to kids about sex shouldn't be awkward. I'd much rather have my kid comfortable enough to come talk to me about things like this than feel he has to learn it from his peers. He won't hear me say, "Oh, you came from a cabbage patch" or "You're too little for those kind of questions". If he's asking, he's not too little.

I love shoes

Yeah, a pretty girlie thing for me to say--but I am a girl.

I hate shopping, but I love shoes. Not that I buy a lot of shoes, but I like to look at them and pretend they'd be cute on my big ass feet.

Today I did buy two pairs of shoes though. I didn't plan on it, but while walking around the mall this morning, my old shoes produced two HUGE blisters on the back of my feet. *sigh* I had my dress shoes on because I was between interviews, so it's my fault for not planning my day more carefully. None the less, I thought I might die before I made it back to my car. So I did what any sensible person would do--got pissed off and bought new shoes.

I'm not a fashion saavy person, so I had on regular socks. My new shoes, a pair of awesome dress shoes and a pair of heel-less Sketchers wouldn't fit on my feet. For the life of me, I couldn't find where JC Pennys hid their knee high panty-hose and I would be damned if I limped my way through the store searching for them. So I drove to Shopko instead. "Why didn't you just ask someone?" you ponder? Well, by this time I was in dire need of gianormous band-aides, so it made more sense (to me) to go buy to a place where I could buy both.

Ahhh, band-aides. Really, who ever thought them up was a genius. Just putting on a band-aide makes things better, doesn't it? I was sooooo happy once I got back to my car with knee highs and band-aides. My feet didn't even hurt anymore! Yay! But I was tired from all the excitment.

Shopping wears me out. I hate it. But I needed some new clothes, since my closet (read: laudry basket in the washroom) consists of t-shirts and jeans. That's pretty much it. When I get a job, I'm going to need some nicer clothes. I never dressed up for my old job--I ruined so many good clothes working there. *laughs*

So as painful as it was, I managed to find some pants and a few shirts. But then when I got home, I noticed I'd bought just as many t-shirts and sweat shirts as I had dress clothes...WTF?

Sadly, I couldn't find any hats. I'm itching to get myself a hat like those Nakai wears from Utaban. But I can't find them ANYWHERE! Those hats are totally awesome! They're like a stocking cap, but not. I suppose I should check at the skii and outdoor stores...

Back to my shoes. I love them. They're so cool! And comfortable! I love my Nikes too, but they're all worn out. I haven't had a new pair of shoes in three years (that's how bad I am about buying shoes and clothes). The Sketchers are so pretty, pale tan and white. I'm a bit concerned about them being so light. I'm sure I'll turn them black in a few months. I'll try not to though. My dress shoes though---ahhhhh---I've never had a new pair of dress shoes that fit so nice. They're black too, so I'm not worried about getting them dirty.

Anyway, I had two interviews today. I think they went okay. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Next week doesn't seem to be as busy as this week, but hard telling what will pop up.

Well, I'm off to play my new Animal Crossing game. (yes J, I finally got it! Thank you Income Tax Return!)

Owie

Since being 'let go' from my job, I've started dragging my lazy ass to the gym each morning. Well, not each morning, but at least three times a week. At first, my poor, old, body was confused, then distraught at the sudden punishment. "Why?!" I could hear it cry each morning when I got out of bed. My joints creaked and at one point in time I thought my kneecap stopped working. "Punishment!" was my answer. "Today we will ride 15 miles uphill on the stationary bike because of your whining!" I think my heart tried to give out as I drove to the gym at 8am, but my will power was stronger.

I can't wait until we go to aerobics class. *whee*

In other news (not that any of you care), today I have an interview for a job. I've got another one tomorrow. AND I have a prospect else where, but the pay would probably be significantly less. So, I guess it's not totally hopeless. Not that I'm saying I'll actually get anywhere with the interviews, but I'm one of those people who refuses to get her hopes up.

The idea of starting a new job is scary. New people, new procedures, new everything. For seven years, I knew what I was supposed to do and how to do it. I'm terrified of messing something up. But with mistakes come learning, so it's not that big a deal. And I'm pretty good with people--even the ones I don't like.

The more I think about, the more I realize that I am more aggravated by job loss not because of money, but because the inconvenience of being thrust out of my comfort zone. I guess I'd just become too complacent in life. This was an awakening I desperately needed. Since I'm no longer working where I used to work, I've been a lot happier. Sure, I miss the people and the job itself, but I don't miss the stress and the ridiculous management nightmare it had become. I find myself asking, "Why did I stay there so long?"

Sadly, if I don't find another job and get called back by them, I'd have to go. Unemployment doesn't look kindly on turning down a job, so I'd lose my only source of income if I told them to go to hell. I'm praying I get something ASAP, because I heard the boss was planning on bringing me back--but not to my regular job. Nope, I'd have to start all over again, and I don't want to do that again.

*sigh* Well, what will be will be, I guess.

Other than that, I've spent quite a bit of time playing my new game J bought me. Tales of Legendia is pretty fun, though not the stellar example that was Tales of Symphonia. I'll post more on this once I finish the game--I'm still not certain where the story is going so I don't have much to say about it. I also picked up Grandia 3, but it's unopened. I'll play it after I finish Legendia, but I have big hopes for it. The new Shadow Hearts is out the beginning of March too. Yay!

A summary for Angel Sanctuary: Book 12

So I picked up book 12 of Angel Sanctuary the other day. It was probably one of the best books yet, though things really start heating up soon. Enter Satan into the fray...can't wait for that to happen. Heh... Not that I'm a Satanist or anything, but the angels in angel Sanctuary...well...lets just say Satan is an anti hero of sorts. *laughs* Heaven is -fucked up- in this story. God's disappeared, angles have turned sadistic, demons are more sane (a few anyway), everything is crazy...Half the time I'm not sure who's the good guy and who is the bad guy in this story. Ha ha~ With the exception of Sevvie. I hate that bastard. But a little secret...the true evil hasn't been exposed yet. Hee hee~

So, since this is another one of my favorite books in the series, I did a summary, stick figure style. Much like what I did for book 5.

Poor Zaph...getting all banged up for Setsuna. He's in trouble now. Sevvie knows he's the traitor and that's scary. And Sara...she's going back into the monsters hands too. I can't wait until Sevvie gets his. Sev is seriously sick in the head. A lot like Raziel, but Sev just takes himself too seriously. Raz has fun--like a bad child. I'm not sure which one is scarier. *laughs*

Kira will step up to the plate soon. His identity will be relvealed, as will the 'giant egg'...aka the cradel. Freaky, freaky. All Hell is going to break loose soon--literally.

Tensai! Shimura Doubutsu～

Today I am going to share screen caps about one of my favorite Japanese variety shows, "Tensai!Shimura Doubutsu　（天才！志村どうぶつ園）". Basically, this means "Genius! Shimura Animal Park", or something along those lines. Tensai(天才)is the word for genius. Doubutsu （動物）means animal. And en （園）is park or garden.

Enough with the Japanese lesson, on to the show. This program is a Variety show about animals. Basically, the hosts play games, like "guess the owner" and "what animal am I" to win a taste of the some yummy food dishes. Weird, I know, but funnier than hell most of the time.

Gussan guesses correctly and wins a bite!

And the losers...well, they get to make fools of themselves on television...

　
Aiba and Suzuki show off their dancing skills. Aiba, being in an idol group, clearly has an edge.

Of course, this isn't what makes the show--at least not for me. There are other games, such as a kind of 'guess that animal' game. The contestants get a clue, then have to demonstrate what animal they think it is. This leads to some highly amusing creativity on their part.

The clue is...kame （かめ）? And it's not a turtle? えっっっっっ？(kame is turtle in Japanese)

You two are both waaay off the mark

But Aiba is on to something...he's almost got it...nearly there...A DOG! (huh?) He's so excited he loses his shoe.

But this isn't my favorite part of the show either. What makes this show so much fun to watch is when they send the contestants (who are the same each week) out to take care of different animals. They never know what animal they'll be watching over, and it could be anything from a puppy to an elephant. This makes great comedy.

Gussan meets Bambi's Angels

Even better is when they send Aiba off to so some job at the Zoo. Poor guy...

They give him odd jobs, which range from brushing and bathing the animals, feeding them or sending them back to their holding pens. He's often extremely excited and enthusiastic about the jobs he's given.

However...sometimes the cute little animals take advantage of Aiba's kindness.

This job starts off innocently enough...

...but it rapidly disintegrates into a fight of life and death. Run Aiba! Run! Incidently, after being cornered by the hungry pelicans, he sternly tells them to go home--and they do...

And sometimes, the animals are not very cute...

Oh, hell no I'm not going in there

and the reason why...

you want me to do what?

okay, this isn't so bad...

forget I said that...

And in the end, they ride happily off together into the...zoo barn

I love this show. It's so damn funny. The animals are cool, the people are a riot, and it's different than a lot of the stuff I usually watch. If you're interested in watching it, it can be found on jpop suki most of the time. Keep your eyes peeled for it!

No, I don't think I will...

Taken from a LJ entry:

"Icons take work, and it takes more work after that to make them into banners/color bars. Sometimes minutes, sometimes hours. Either way, comment if you're taking these and credit XXXXXXXX when you use them."

Yes they do take work. So does taking the photographs that icon users use to make these pictures, but I rarely see them credited. So no, I don't think I'll credit you for your icons, since you want to be a bitch about it. Oh, copyright infringement doesn't really work in this case, since you're talking about already stolen content that wasn't yours to edit or take to begin with--and I'm half willing to bet you took the pictures you use to make the icons from someone else who took them from someone else who took them from someone who actually took the time to buy the magazine/books and scan them. See where this is going?

The worst you can do is hate me--and quite frankly, I really don't give a shit if you do (who are you?)

Too bad, so sad.

(note: I will usually credit people's icons, but if they're bitchy about it, I'll just use thier icons out of friggen spite. WTF is the point of crediting icons? Internet fame? If that's the case, you need to get a friggen life outside of 100x100 pixels...seriously.)

American Way, Or No Way

I love my country. It's a great place to live for the most part. However, I could do without all the chest thumping and ignorance that comes along with it.

Listen up, fellow Americans:

You are NOT the best in the world. The American way is NOT the only way. There is more beyond just the US--like countries...with people who do things differently than us. That does not make them, OMG! weird heathens, so STFU now, okay?

I happened across this video from MSNBC, where the hosts take on Japanese entertainment, in a demeaning, arrogant way that only Americans are capable of (because, you know, if it's different, it's obviously BAD). They focus on Morning Musume, a Jpop idol group that consists of 13 girls whose ages range from 12-24. Think of the Mickey Mouse club, sorta. The girls grow up (some become stars), and are replaced. They sing, do TV skits, appear on Variety shows, etc.

MM is huge in Japan. They have fans ranging from young girls to old men. Of course, MSNBC only focuses on the fact that old men like these girls, and little else. "When they got to old to be in the group, I thought they became merchandise," states one of the hosts of MSNBC after learning that older men like to attend MM concerts.

Go die now. Thx.

While old men ogling teenage girls openly is a bit creepy, I'll happily point out that most American men also ogle teenage girls, just not so freely. You know you do, unless you're a saint or the pope, so stop lying.

The hosts also point out that these girls, being Japanese idols, are not allowed to have boyfriends (gasp). What they fail to mention, is that this isn't just restricted to MM. It is common among most idols, not to have significant others, whether they are girls or boys. To the American mind, this is OMG! Oppreshun! But to the Japanese, it's just good business. I mean, hell--what's the point of being an idol of some girl or boy's dreams when they know you're already attached? -100 worship points there...

As for Japanese "Game Shows" (Variety Shows), MSNBC states that, "American game shows reward knowledge; Japanese game shows punish ignorance." Bwha? Funny, when I watch a Japanese Variety show, I see a bunch of people doing stupid stuff that is funny, and having a good time doing it. Yeah, you're singled out if you do or say something idiotic, but what do you expect? And tell me, what was the last 'popular' game show you watched here in the US, eh?

NONE? Right! Knowledge my ass. Our televisions are clogged with god awful reality shows that are meant to catch people off guard and humiliate them. Game shows are boring. Americans love watching people suffer on TV. We like to belittle them at their worst moments, pick them apart, and criticize them to death. We want to see people behaving badly--the ugly side of human nature is intriguing to the typical US citizen. That's why the shows like The Real World, Punk'd, American Idol, Survivor, etc., are so popular. Kinda sick, when you think about it. At least in Japan, the people on these shows know they're going to be the laughing stock--and they laugh right along with everyone else.

And finally, to appease the masses of US people seeking dirty gossip, MSNBC goes on to talk about the money that MM draws in. Naturally, they make it sound as if the girls are slaves, kept chained in a basement and let out only to perform. Because, you know, since it's not done the American way, it must have evil strings attached. *rolls eyes*

I'm happy to say I don't rely on MSNBC, or another network news station for my source of information (for this exact reason). Sadly, too many Americans do, and take the word of hosts such as these to be golden. I blame the news, and the ridiculous laziness of my fellow country men, for the blinding ignorance that is a infection in the US.

Americans, stop being so dumb.

Mochi Mochi

I'm not much of a cook. Actually, I hate cooking. I really suck at it. I have the attention span of a mop to boot. However, since my extended vacation from my job, I find myself growing bored. Oh, I put in applications and spend most mornings searching various websites for employment, but I haven't had any takers yet. I'll probably end up working at Pet Smart or something like that (no offense to people who work there, BTW). Anyway, the rest of my time I go to the gym, come home and wait by the phone while surfing the net or playing videogames.

*sigh*

For the longest time, I've been miffed that my city has no good Japanese establishments. I can't even get so much as a bowl of Miso Ramen in this town. So, I took matters into my own hands today. I went on a mission to make Mochi, that gummy stuff the Japanese love at New Years and other festive times. On a whim, I decided I'd make curry for dinner. The internet gave me the recipes, and I did have to do some searching at different stores for the ingredients, but my experiments turned out quite well.

We all had curry for dinner and had a good laugh over the Mochi. It turned out okay--but DAMN, the recipe sure made a shit load of it. Next, I think I'm gonna try dango and yakitori. I'll have to recover for a few days though. Too much cooking will most definitely tire me out--or burn down our house.

Ear

I have a horrible pain in my ear. I better not be getting sick. I'll have to remove my ear, considering I can't afford a stupid doctor now.

Losing Hair and Taxes

I'm still without a job--FYI. I've been putting applications and sending resumes to people, but no calls yet. *sigh* So, I have quite a bit of time on my hands these days.

Unemployment seems to be squared away, but having some extra cash would be nice. The only place I can hope to get that right now if from my taxes. Alas, my job hadn't sent me my W2 form yet. They're they type of company that mails them out at last possible moment. Oddly enough, by Feb 1st, mine still hadn't arrived. I waited until after the weekend, thinking perhaps the mail was slow. When it didn't show up on Saturday, I go worried, so I sent the Office Manager an email inquiring to its whereabouts.

Guess what I found out? My boss had it. He's had it at least a week. Never bothered to call and tell me it was there. Never bothered to mail it to me. It's bad enough that he blind-sided me with this entire, "We don't need you right now" crap, but then he just doesn't bother to send me my W2 form...Gee, thanks asshole. It's not like I'm hurting for money or anything.

Isn't that illegal? My understanding was that employers are required to get W2 forms to employees before Feb 1st. I'm half tempted to call the IRS on this guy--just because he's an unattentive, insensitive jerk face. But now that I have it (I went in and got it myself), it really seems pointless to cause a fuss. Sort of. My evil, vindictive side says, "Throw him under the bus!"

Whatever. I've come to the conclusion I don't want to work for that idiot ever again...

Anyway, on my way into town, I decided to go get my hair cut. Most of you don't know me personally, but those who do realize that this is a big deal. My hair was ungodly long. Like, past my ass long. But now it is not. I walked into a hair salon I saw on my way to the gym and declared, "Can you do something about this?" (exact words). An hour later I have a pretty cool hair cut and am probably about four or five pounds lighter.

Now, I need to go to the eye doctor and gets some new glasses and contacts. Unfortuantly I don't have insurance right now--but I'm hoping with my tax return to take care of this business. I got sick of my scratched up glasses yesterday and put my contacts in. The world is oddly bright and shiney.

For an unemployed girl with no prospects, I actually feel pretty good.

Icons

This time it's just rockers (from Japan).

Make a caption!

Gotta caption? Post it!

Things you wish you could still do, but can't because you're a grown-up

Lately, I have a lot of time to sit around and think (listens for crickets), and today I happened to be watching some TV program when a commercial for Chuck E. Cheese came on. The kids were having a blast, playing on all those toys, running themselves into the dirt. I'm sure they'd passout before they'd give up playing...

I got to thinking, "Damn, kids have it good." They get all the cool shit. They can do stupid things and no one looks at them funny. They can take the simplest thing and turn it into a toy. Hell, my son creates monstrousterous swords out of paper and cardboard on a daily basis. He plays with them until they break (which is about 15 minutes), then goes and makes an even bigger, badder, and better one.

When we buy him playdough, he just lumps it all together in one big, grotesque, blob of brownish red poop looking stuff. Seriously, he just dumps it out onto the counter and slaps it all together. Not even 1.5 seconds out of the containers. No need for variation, apparently--but it's all good, right? Then he plays with it until it's hard and crunchy, or until it's all smeared into the rug around the kitchen counter. Good times.

Being an adult, we don't get to have that kind of fun. Well, we're not supposed to--if we do, people look at us like we're irresponsible or just plain crazy. I miss those times as a kid, riding the big wheel, making forts out of the couch cushions, building giant towns out of my plastic animals with my cousins and sister. I'm too big to play in the ball pen at Chuck E. Cheese. Can't ride one of those bouncey horses either. I'd probably kill myself if I played on the jungle gym or monkey bars.

But damn, I miss doing that stuff. I was half tempted to go buy myself a lego castle today and build the biggest ass fortress in the history of legodom. Maybe I will.

So, crew, what things do you miss about childhood? For some of us here, we really have to think, but I know everyone has at least one or two things they can recall from their days as a small fry! Speak up!