Ramblings of a Crowe

Been there, done that....

I posted this awhile ago, but it was a lot of fun. Go check it out. You need to find the differences in the pictures. Good luck!

Yowie--it is not...

Okay, I'm going to look like an elitist asshole here, but I've got a pet peeve. A big one. And that is the pronunciation of the Japanese term, "yaoi" by fangirls. I honestly cringe when I hear someone talking about "Oh, that's a YOWIE book! It's sooo cool!" And they say "yaoi" as if someone stabbed them in the ass with a sharpened pencil.

Listen, I'm not an authority on Japanese. I have trouble doing vocabulary words. It can be a tricky language. I mean, they have words that look like this: gaishokusangyou, seigensokudo, and gaikokujin (god I hate romanji). Next to those, 'yaoi' shouldn't be that tough...

So, here's a break down of pronunciation (basics, since I suck):

A as in 'father' (short and crisp)
I as in 'keep' (short and crisp)
U as in 'lute' (without rounding the lips)
E as in 'prey'
O as in 'corn' (only shorter)

(long vowels are held for a longer 'beat'. For example ooki (big) or okaasan (mother). Never will a Japanse vowel make a sound like, 'i' and in 'kite', or 'e' as in 'teacher', etc.)

Vowels in Japanese are different than those in English. The word, 'ai', or love, is pronounced as two separate syllables: a-i. Another example is 'ao', or blue. It is pronounced a-o, two totally separate syllables. An exception to this rule is the 'ei' combination. It usually is pronounced as 'e', as in eiga (movie). Single vowels get their very own beat (unless they're unvoiced, but that's an entirely different subject).

Now lets look at 'yaoi'. It has a lot of vowels. It is pronounced yah-oh-i. There's no 'wee' sound in there. Nor is there a 'yow' sound either. The next fangirl that tries to tell me differently is going to get slapped in the face with my text book and have a dictionary crammed up her ass.

*sigh* I'm not an elitist. I actually hate them with a passion. However, I think I hate the fangirlese for the word yaoi because it sounds so friggen stupid. Then again, I can't stand fangirls, so that probably has a lot to do with it too...

Funny Stuff

I'm constantly getting amusing emails from friends, family, and co-workers. I thought I'd share a few:

Pumkin Bowling
Great mindless entertainment

Backstreet Boys in China
I can't find the words

Best. Comic. Ever.

Retards are everywhere...

I seriously hope this guy realizes that suit isn't his color...

A Joke:
"A man staggered in late one night after another evening of drinking with his friends. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife and tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to the upstairs bedroom.

He misjudged the bottom step and fell, landing heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke, making his landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, he pulled down his pants and saw he was bleeding badly.

He made his way to the bathroom and put a band aid on each place he saw blood. He then stumbled his way upstairs to bed.

When he woke up the next morning, his wife said, "You were drunk again last night, weren't you?"

The man said, "What would make you think that?"

She replied, "It could be a lot of things, the broken glass at the foot of the stairs, the drops of blood throughout the house, your bloodshot eyes, but mostly it's all those band aids on the bathroom mirror." "
Pfftt~

More comics

And I have more lying around in my e-mail files somewhere. I really don't know where people get a lot of this stuff, but it's pretty damn funny. Enjoy!

So...

I've been MIA lately, mostly because I have nothing interesting to say, but also because I've been deeply engrossed in important things--like sleep.

I have a love hate relationship with sleep. I love to sleep. It's awesome! I have to coolest (read: disturbing) dreams. However, I also hate sleep because 1.)I always have to wake up, and 2.)There are so many things I want to work on, but would rather sleep instead. What a delemma!

Not only that, I have no consistant sleeping pattern. Sometimes I'll go to bed at 7pm, only to be wide awake at 1am. Other times I'll go to bed at 12am and be totally refreshed by 7am. And on the rare occasion I actually do sleep 8 to 10 hours, I'm usually bone tired by the middle of my day.

I can't win.

I think my messed up sleep habits has something to do with me prefering to be awake during night-time hours. I'd much rather go to bed at 5am and wake up at 10 or 11am, then the normal 9pm to whenever the hell I get up. It's a running joke at work that sunlight will make me melt. I'm not sure if I should be offended or not, but that's besides the point.

Anyway, I'm getting laid off work soon (next couple weeks or so) and am looking forward to it. Happens every year. No big. But my sleep patterns drastically change during this time. I become semi-nocturnal. Waking up late morning, taking a nap in the afternoon, then being wide awake until 4 or 5 in the morning. It's nice.

Night time is so quiet. No annoying phone calls (I friggen *hate* talking on the phone), no one bothering me, no kid demanding my attention, nada. I can play videogames, work on projects, etc., without interruption. Very cool.

So I'm eagerly awaiting lay off. Being tight on money always sucks, but I rarely leave the house this time of year, so I won't be tempted to spend what I don't have.

Let's hear it for seasonal jobs! Yay!

Stupid Brat

I. Would. Kick. His. Ass.

Bleach and Naruto (200 and 281)

Bleach has finally hit the 200s!!! Yay!

Chapter starts off with with Rukia trying to find a place to sleep in the Kurosaki house. She complains about stuff being dirty, but in the end, ends up sleeping with Yuzu.

Meanwhile, Renji makes it to Urahara's shop. Urahara is a bit surprised to see a Vice Captain.

Shift to Ikkaku and Yumichika, who are sitting on a roof somewhere.

Over at Orihime's place, she and Rangiku are eating. Rangiku loves Orihime's cooking while Hitsugaya sits outside on the roof, thinking, "I'm hungry." (ha ha)

Somewhere, the Allankar have all arrived and Grimmjow seems pleased. They're going to kill everyone.

Ichigo notices the spiritual energy, as does Rukia. She busts out 'the phone' and starts counting. She tells Ichigo that there are six of them, but they don't seem to be heading their way. She says they seem to be looking for something.

Rukia tells Ichigo she thinks they are combing the town, looking for people with high spiritual energy. She confirms Grimmjow's plans--the Allankar have arrived for a massacre.

Ichigo starts to freak a bit, going on about Ishida not being able to defend himself (he doesn't know that Ishida's dad is a major badass Quincy), and how eventually Orihime and Chad will be in danger too.

Rukia reassures him that Orihime will be find, since Rangiku and Hitsugaya are with her. However--one has already found Chad.

Meanwhile, Ikkaku and Yumichika are on the move. Ikkaku has a really scary "I'm gonna get to kill stuff" look on his face.

Over at Orihime, Hitsugaya jumps into action, dismissing his faux body. Rangiku has made sure Orihime won't get into the frey just as two Allenkar show up. Shaolon says, "Pleased to meet you". Rangiku is stunned at their (the Allankar's) speed. Hitsugaya introduces himself and then he and Shaolon clash swords. They exchange some banter about who will kill who and the fight continues.

Meanwhile, Chad is leaving to go find Orihime, though he still needs to heal up. However, when he steps outside, Deroy is waiting for him and attacks him. Ichigo shows up just in time to stop Chad from getting run through.

Deroy looks a bit stunned. Ichigo tells him to shut up and that his first opponent will be him. Diroy isn't impressed and tells Ichigo they're all going to die. No contest.

The chapter ends with Edorad standing in front of Ikakku and Yumichika, and Ilfort squaring off with Renji (where's Urahara?).

~So, where's Grimmjow? What's he up to? And I'm curious to know if Aizen knows about this little pillage plan of theirs. After that tiff between Grimmjow and what's his face (I can never spell his name), I'm thinking 'no'. Not sure exactly what's going to happen. I'd like to say Ichigo is going to take apart Diroy, since that's the way shonen manga seem to work--buuuuut I don't know.

I'm wondering if this is where the Vaizards make their entrance?

All the hype about these Allankar's being so tough and all, I can't see how non-captains or non-shinigami, can even hope to win. It would seem plausible that the Vaizards would be the Allankar's natural enemy. However, characters like Yourichi, Ishida's dad, Isshin (former captain), Urahara, Renji (who knows Ban Kai) and Ichigo always make things interesting.

Oh, and on another note: *insert angry face here* To all the idiots bitching about how stupid it was for Ichigo to save Chad in the nick of time--go eat a big helping of STFU. It's a manga, you doofuses. M-A-N-G-A! A shonen one! If you haven't figured out that stuff is going to be over the top in a shonen manga, you're a dumbass.

Okay, on to Naruto.

Not a whole lot goes on here. The crew is going back to Konoha. Naruto and Gaara say their good-byes. Everyone pays their respect to Chiyo-baa. Kakashi is still feeling down from using his new technique, and there's some comical exchange between him and Gai. Gai carries Kakashi piggyback style, grossing out the younger folk. Well, except for Lee, who thinks it's training and tries to persuade Neiji to get on his back. Neiji directly refuses.

In Konoha, Shizune questions if sending Naruto out after the Akatsuki was a good idea. Tsunade tells her it was, because he's a jinchuuriki. Since Naruto is a jinchuuriki, he understands them better than anyone else, plus he's got a gift for making people see things his way.

Meanwhile, Tobi and Zatsu are pondering Deidara's death, when Deidara pops up. Shit! He's not dead? Deidara yells at Tobi and Zatsu asks him what happened to the jinchuuriki. Deidara tells him he's finished his mission.

Tobi pipes up again, making a comment on how Deidara is looking a bit worse for wear. This brings about a bizzare wrestling match, where Deidara exclaims that even his patience isn't limited and if Tobi doesn't shut up, he's going to kill him. Then Deidara tries to choke Tobi to death. Seems we've found the clowns of the Akatsuki...

Now things start to get interesting...

In what I'm assuming is Konoha, a strange man wearing a bandage of one of his eyes is addressing a young boy (once more, I'm assuming this is a boy). The bandaged man tells the boy he's arranged for him to be placed into Kakashi's team. He goes on to say that the boy isn't much younger than Naruto and that he's the most powerful of his generation. Huh?

Then he tells the kid that until his mission has ended, his name will be "Sai"...

Sai seems to ponder his name and gives the man a stiff smile. The man tells him there's no need to force himself and Sai tells him he's been 'practicing'. Apparently, according to Sai, he's never been good with expressions. In fact, he's never used them before in his life...

If that isn't odd enough, this kid looks strangly similar to Sasuke...

~Interesting. Friend or foe? Jinchuuriki or a lost Uchiha? Boy or girl? And what is this 'mission'?

Ani-Blog #1

In light of the most recent disruption of my life, I took a moment to reflect on the consistency of the mishaps that occur and came to a conclusion:

There's nothing I can do about this. The evil aura that has decided I make a great victim won't be thwarted. So, instead of getting all riled about it, I'm going to make my best attempt to roll with the punches.

It will be a hard road. One wrought with peril, disappointment, and tears. But I will prevail! You hear that evil god of all that is electronical and mechanical! I won't let you get to me anymore! Taunt me, torture me, make my life miserable--do your worst (please don't)! You won't make me cry anymore! You won't make me peel paint with foul language! I'm no longer your puppet!

That being said, here's short well illustrated version of what I've come to call, "The Day of Enlightenment".

Enjoy:

(for some reason my alarm was set on 'super fucking high' this morning)

(I shot out of bed, only to have a book drop on my face. NOTE: Zoso sleeps on a futon, but is too lazy to turn it into a bed each night.)

(I ran some errands at lunch only to have my car not start--while I was in a sketchy part of town.)

(It did this again when I was leaving work, but I took it all in stride...)

(Then I realized what was going on. The 'curse' had struck again...)

Update 10/21

Now this is a fine omen (taken from the daily horoscope on my homepage...)
"One thing, and one thing only, can be absolutely counted on in your world: Nothing you've planned down to the most minute detail will turn out even close to how you'd imagined it."

Can't a girl get a break!!!!!

Don't Pee on the Fat Lady!

What the f**k is this woman's problem? Jesus Christ.

Public Restrooms: G is for Girl and B is for Boy (no exceptions)

Today, while I was trolling about oft_wank I stumbled across this little gem of a post at customers_suck.

It pissed me off. I felt a need to bitch about it. So here I go.

tomakobriefs is a fucking tard. No responsible parent would send their young child into a public restroom alone. I'm sorry. Just don't do it. My sister, being all lawyer smart and stuff, states that the odds of having a kid molested/abducted/whatever by a stranger are slim (1% apparently), but no one ever knows if they'll be that unlucky percentage, right? Not unless you're a goddamn psychic and I'm sure the likelihood of that is even less than 1%. So why even risk it? Are your kids/little brother or sister/nieces or nephews life worth it? I don't know about you, but I don't like to take chances with my kid's life.

I'm sure Matthew Cecchi's aunt, Sherrice Iverson's parents, or the Groene's weren't thinking they'd be part of that minute percentage murdered by strangers. They were just part of an unlucky system of numbers--and any of us could be 'next'. We never know. Which is why being cautious, perhaps overly so in the case of children, isn't the wrong thing to do.

Sending a five year old little boy into a men's bathroom alone is stupid on many levels. Kids that young can get into all sorts of trouble in a bathroom. They get sidetracked. They can't get their pants up. They panic easily. They get into shit (sometimes literally). And of course, you can't keep them safe from the crazies that might be lurking about.

I'm well aware that pedophiles aren't hiding in my trees, waiting for me to turn my back. However, I'm aware they are out there and I'm not willing to put my son in that sort of jeopardy. Go ahead and tell me, "It's not likely". I'm sure that's what every family of a murdered child says at some point. "I never thought this would happen to us." That mantra is pretty familiar. It applies to lots of situations. And I really hope I'll never be the one to say something like that, and if prevention means being over protective and unrealistic about 'hard numbers', so be it.

The best I can do is watch my son out in public and give him the tools to know when 'something isn't right'. Not everyone is your friend. People you know can be bad. Strangers are off limits. Don't go places alone. What to do if someone grabs him/tries to hurt him.

Being a parent is scary business sometimes.

Oh Jack--Your Crazy is So Amusing! ...or not.

Last week, j00kst3r made a post regarding Jack Thompson's generous proposition to donate $10,000 to a charity of Paul Eibeler (of Take Two Interactive) if a videogame developer would create a game based on his senerio. I'm not even going to attempt to explain Thompson's desired game, because that's just far too much illogical crazy for me to digest.

This week, however, we see a twist in the drama tornado that is Jack Thompson. Some GTA modders took Jack up on his offer and created little demo of his 'videogame'. However, Jack decided that it wasn't what he wanted (meaning he didn't find it very funny someone called his bluff), and then proceeded to say his offer of a 10 grand donation was just 'satire'. Hardy har har all you little kids suffering from terminal illnesses! It was a joke! Laughter's the best medicine, isn't it!!!

Well, the boys over at Penny Arcade caught wind of this and decided to poke Jack a bit about the dollar amount, and it seems Jack didn't take to kindly to it. A few phone calls, e-mails, and lawsuit threats later, the crew over at PA decided to be the better man and ante'd up 10 grand to charity--in Jack's name. Jack, you've been OWNED!

But wait, it gets better! Jack sends a letter to the Seattle police department, calling for the arrest of Gabe and Tycho, and the shut down of PA! His grounds, they're selling T-shirts that say, "I Hate Jack Thompson". In his sensitive world, this is harrassment. (gotta read that letter people, it's hysterical!) As of yet, there's been no word back from the police...

Adding to Jack's bad day, The National Institute on Media and the Family has called for ole Jack to stop associating himself with their name. Dr. Walsh sent an open letter, stating that Jack's tactics and constant dropping of their name is shedding their cause in a negitive light. Gee--you think. Dr. Walsh is also miffed that Jack resorts to third grade school yard tactics by bashing people he respects, including game developers and other industry members.

Jack responds with infallible logic--

Or something to that effect.

Stand by folks. We all know this isn't over yet. Jacky's out of meds and just getting started.

UPDATE:

Here's another link, bound to make gamma froth at the mouth! :P

Canadians Are Trying to Kill Me.

Okay, will some of my Canadian friends tell me what's up with drivers in Canada? Does everyone drive like a crazy blind person up there? I ask, because in less than two weeks, I've nearly been run off the road three times by a Canadian. And no, I don't live close to the border, which is why I'm perplexed. Maybe it's just a BC thing...since that's where they've all been from (which shows you how damn close I was to their bumper when they tried to play WWF with their cars).

Us Americans are bad enough in our cars. The minute you venture out onto the road, you are prepared for battle. If rage could fuel cars, we'd never have to bitch about gas prices. *shrug* Maybe my would be killers were just trying to fit in...though even by American standards they were a bit extreme. I mean, who changes lanes in the middle of a busy intersection and nearly causes a pile-up? WTF! Just because there's no lines in an intersection doesn't mean you can just pick a lane! And dare I say, it's ballsy to take on a semi in your little car, but for the love of god, leave the rest of us commuters out of it! I don't know about in Canada, but here, you don't fuck with the semi trucks. And that lane, the one that lets you merge onto a highway--that's not a right of way. If there are cars on the highway, this doesn't mean jerk your wheel into on coming car, forcing them onto the shoulder. Rule of thumb--slow the hell down!

Christ. We've got enough idiot drivers here, thank you very much. We don't need any more. (not that I honestly believe all Canadians are stupid drivers)

Zoso Goes To A Party

(as requested by my sister)

disclaimer: not for the squeamish (now you just have to read it, don't you?)

So, the other day I'm at the gas station, getting my usual 7am chocolate milk and croissant before work. Yum, gas station food! A great way to start the day. Anyway, as I'm getting out of my car, I hear someone shout my name. Instantly paranoid, I turn and look over my shoulder, only to see one of my best friends from high school (and beyond) yelling at me from the pumps.

My friend, who I will refer to as Turkey Creek (short for Turkey Creek Jack Johnson) runs over to me and gives me a big hug. We haven't seen each other in a year (thanks to my anti-social behavior), and immediately begin chatting about this and that. Out of the blue, Turkey Creek pipes up with, "Hey, I'm having a dildo party Saturday night! You want to come?" (ha ha, no pun intended you sickos) I sort of laugh, then give her a quizzical look, and reply, "No shit? Sure!"

I'm not one to buck tradition. You see, as long as Turkey Creek and I have been friends (since the second grade), neither of us have ever been able to tell each other 'no'. Of course I knew riding bikes while drinking beer and whiskey was a bad idea, but who am I to hold anyone back? And of course we could go to jail for stripping and running naked through a wheat field on the side of the road, but only if we got caught, right? And when Turkey Creek wanted to get down and groovy at the club with the 'little person' (midget), I egged her on--because it was what she wanted! I'm all about my friend's happiness!

So when she asked me to come to her party, I couldn't say no, see? And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. Passion party? What the hell is that? Not to mention, in my sheltered life, I've never actually seen a dildo up close and personal. I chalked it up to a learning experience.

And that is was!

I arrived a bit before 7pm, just to sit down and shoot the shit with Turkey Creek and another good friend (the one who had to put up with our early year antics *sorry Donnie about the garbage can--we didn't think the fire would spread that fast*). Already, Turkey Creek and Donnie had a counter full of various liquors and food set on the table. Well, one table for food and another for liquor. Around 7, the rest of the party goers arrived: Turkey Creek's mother in law, sister in law, her mother (yup, you read that right), a neighbor, her sister in law's sisters, some people from Donnie's work, etc. There were about 12 of us total, including the lady giving the party.

By the time the lady (I forgot her name...or rather never asked) got finished setting up, Turkey Creek's mother in law was well on her way to tying on a good one. A bottle of whiskey, a couple bottles of wine later, and the show was on the road. (NOTE: Zoso doesn't drink, due to kidney failure possibilities these days--a sad and true fact)

Okay, I'm ignorant when it comes to sex toys, but not sex. Hell, I've got a kid. I know how it works. I'm not a prude either. Not much squicks me in the sex department--but whoever thought up the idea to put faces on the 'heads' of dildos was a freak of the most freakish nature! The party lady told us it was so certain laws wouldn't consider the 'toys' obscene. WTF? There's a face on that plastic penis! That's not natural! Doesn't that make it more obscene? I shit you not, almost all those faces looked like Buddha. I don't know about you, but I don't want Buddha having any business 'down there'. One of the distributors was clever enough to make their 'faces' into that of a beaver. Hardy har har...

Even more disturbing, a lot of these dildo's looked like penises straight from the planet Spiketron WTF3132. Knobs, spikes, probing pieces. If a man ever dropped his pants and had one of these, I'd friggen run like hell. Or shoot him. Which ever was more convenient at the time. The nice party lady explained what each thorny doo-dad did, and all I could think was, "That's suppose to go where?" Oh, and let me tell you, dolphins are popular accessories on dildos. I'll never look at Flipper the same again...I'll probably never look at him again...

Oh, and I mustn't forget the novel device called the 'Gigi'. Now the Gigi looks like a beer can holder, except made of this stuff that I can only explain as flubber. Basically, it's a male masturbation helper thing...though according to party lady, it can be used for other things too, as she so politely explained. If you turn it one way, it simulates a vagina, but if you turn it the other way, it's--TA-DAH--an anus! She brought the thing around and instructed us to 'feel' it. People, she wanted me to stick my fingers in that thing. I--don't--think--so.

The best part of the party was when she handed out these little popsicle sticks with goo on them and instructed everyone to go into the bathroom and put the stuff 'down there'. I waved mine off and she cheerfully told me she wouldn't continue the party until everyone had tried it. Raising a brow at her, I told her then she might as well pack her bags, 'cause the party was over then. She wandered off, goo stick in hand, saying something about how she 'couldn't force me to try it'. No shit.

Not wanting to be a total party pooper, I did try this stuff that was supposed to taste like cherries (you put it on your body--not there!). She handed out these other popsicle stick things and told us to put it on our lips. Okay, I'm cool with that. Until my lips, gums, and tongue went numb. The shit was like Novocain! What-the-hell? I guess if you're a fridged person and don't want to feel a damn thing during sex, this stuff's for you, because I couldn't feel my mouth for about an hour.

They did have some cool bath stuff. There was this really yummy brown sugar bath salt stuff I almost got. It smelled like the real thing! TC actually tasted it--dumbass.

Overall, despite the WTFness of it all, I had a blast. I laughed until I cried. I only knew a handful of the other women there, but everyone was generally yucking it up, and as the night wore on and the liquor disappeared, things got even funnier. TC's mother in law, bless her heart, is a hysterical drunk. TC's mom is friggen cool, and I had a few good laughs at the fact she was a bit weirded out being at her daughter's dildo party. I nearly had an aneurism when she told TC to buy a Gigi for her dad.

Alas, I had to go home around 9:30pm, so my night ended early. I went home, still giggling, glad I went. And no, I didn't buy anything.

Bleach 199 and Naruto 280

These will be short. Stuff is happening in both series, but not a lot to talk about right now. Most of it is carry over from last week and such.

Anyway～

In Bleach, Rukia is begging Isshin to let her stay at their house. It's a corny sorry, but of course Isshin and Yuzu burst into tears and Issin goes on his normal cracked out tirade.

Rangiku goes over to Orihime's house and Orihime lets her stay (it seems Hitsugaya will be staying on Orihime's rooftop). Rangiku notices that Orihime is down. After threatening Orihime to tell her what's wrong, Rangiku learns that Orihime is feeling a bit jealous of Rukia, as well as usless.

Rangiku opens the door of the bathroom where she was taking a bath and starts tickling Orihime (buttnaked...). She tells Orihime that Ichigo needs her too, then she tries to comfort Orihime with 'her bosom' (Rangiku is enamored with her own boobs...).

Meanwhile, Grimm Jow (not Grimm Jaw according to the cover) is sitting on a rooftop when his buddies show up. There are five of them: Diroy, Shauron, Edorad, Ilfort, and Nakim. Seems Grimm Jow has decided to take matters into his own hands and get rid of Ichigo on his 'own'. He's also noticed the presence of the SS members, so he's gonna eliminate them too...along with anyone else who has the slightest hint of spiritual pressure (which might explain why we see Tatsuki and Asano mixed in with the the SS members and Ichigo crew at the end).

Naruto has been rather tearful the past two weeks. Gaara is alive, thanks to Chiyobaa, but at the expense of her own life. That's sad enough, but what makes this little episode a tearjerker is Gaara's revival and his realization that the Sand nins really do care about him. Upon waking up last week, he found himself surrounded (and I mean surrounded) by his people, who had come to save him. This week, Gaara looks around, stunned, as Temari fusses over him. Several Gaara fangirls squee over his wellbeing, and Kankuro chids him for being a troublesome little brother.

Kankuro thanks Naruto for helping Gaara, then explains that Chiyobaa is dead. She used a forbidden jutsu to bring Gaara back, but the cost was her own life. There's some elevating of Naruto and his strange ability to change people, and a flashback of Chiyobaa telling Naruto to become a Hokage that the world has never seen before.

Gaara gets to his feet with the help of Naruto and tells everyone to send their wishes to Chiyobaa.

Meanwhile...

Deidara isn't dead! Color me a bit surprised. He breaks out of the ground, still missing his arm, but looking pretty okay for a guy who's been digging in the dirt. Apparently he used an exploding bushin to make his escape (how convinent). However, he's got some trouble. The arm he's missing was the one that had his ring on it. He seems troubled over this.

Around the corner (not literally), Zetsu has found Sasori's body. Zetsu is a bit strange, as part of him speaks in katakana and another part speaks 'normally'. Seems he has two personalities (it's hard to tell whose doing the talking here). 'They' find Sasori's ring, while talking about someone named 'Tobi'. Seems 'Tobi' wants to join the Akatsuki crew, and for some reason, the rings are important for that. However, as 'Tobi' is tossing the ring into the air, he misses catching it...

End of chapter.

NOTE!!!

J is hosting an online Madlibs...uh...thingy! Go over and donate a noun, verb, adjective, whatever! Just make sure to read the rules, okay!

Stupid Things that Creep You Out

We all have them. Those stupid little fears that are utter nonsense, yet you can't seem to shake them. Or maybe it's just me. That's highly possible. But that's not the point. Since this is October, I thought I'd make a post about dumbass stuff that makes me uncomfortable. I fully expect others to respond, either to ridicule me or share their own quirky annoyances.

Now I'm not talking about stuff that just annoys you. Like when someone uses the last of the butter and doesn't refill the dish, so you have to go to the fridge, get a new cube out and it's as hard as a brick (that really pisses me off). I'm talking about stuff that picks your 'fear' bar. Stuff that makes you squirm, even though you know it's irrational.

I have a few. I know they're stupid, but I can't help it. These situations just make my skin crawl and various levels.

1.) I don't like large, empty, public bathrooms. The bigger the bathroom, the more nervous I get. Like at the movie theater. There's like 30 stalls in the womens bathroom. I can't stand going in there when it's empty. It gives me the shivers. Not that I need anyone's hand to hold while I take a piss, I just don't like that utter silence only a bathroom that big has. I keep expecting all the doors to suddenly start opening and closeing or that guy from "Scream" to jump out and yell "Boo!" at me.

2.) Driving down dark, unlit highways at night. One reason is because I don't see well in the dark. Another reason, because I watch far to many horror movies where shit jumps out in front of someone's car while their driving on a secluded highway late at night. And where I live, there are a lot of dark roads in the middle of nowhere.

3.) Half open closet doors. They bug the hell out of me. I just have to shut them. I had a freaky experience with a closet once--not one I wish to talk about right now. Let's just say it scared the hell out of me and I cannot stand it if closet doors are partially open. It's either tightly shut or wide open for me (though I prefer shut).

Those are the only things that really give me the chills. I'm a freak. I know this. But I thought I'd spread the freakishness around a bit.

Anyone have some they'd like to share?

False Holidays

Today is Columbus Day. I wasn't aware of this fact until my boss mentioned that all the banks were closed today, and I had to ask 'why'. When he enlightened me that it was a 'holiday', I replied, "Oh, you mean that fake holiday."

Of course, he tells me, "Well, that's not true. Columbus found 'something'."

Whatever. He didn't find jack shit. He was a lost SOB on a boat and got lucky he found land before everyone starved or died of scurvy. So I responded with, "Yeah, well, I found a boogie in my nose, but nobody celebrates THAT."

Hmph...Columbus Day indeed. Holidays should be meaningful. Like "Talk Like a Pirate Day". Now there is something to commemorate.

XXXXXXXX

On another note, I solved a mystery the other day. Back in January, I had this scary experience.

Until now, I was never certain exactly what it was that lurked outside my bedroom window. All I knew was it sounded like someone running a cat through a radiator (or something to that effect) and that it scared the hell out of me.

The mystery monster? Not owls. Not bats. Not evil clowns. No--it was a squirrel. Yes. A squirrel. Who would have guessed that those little rat bastards could make such horrible noises? Squirrels are suppose to be cute and cuddly! Not sound like the devil rising from the depths of hell!

I know it was a squirrel because I witnessed first hand one of them making this screeching noise in broad daylight. You see, we have this family of squirrels that live in our trees. One of them is a behemoth. He's huge. Like a Godzilla Squirrel. I think it's all those nuts from the store we feed him. Has to have something to do with the pesticides they use these days. That's the only explanation I can think of. He's like the size of a small cat and has the temper of a badger--a rabid badger.

Anyway, Godzilla was having a bad day. The neighbor's cat was prowling around under the trees and Godzilla was chittering up in the branches. Most of the cats around here know not to mess with him, but the neighbors have two 'new' cats fresh out of kitten hood. They have yet to learn the wrath of Godzilla and his clan of ninja elite mercenary squirrels.

Normally, a prowling cat would only incense Godzilla into a flurry of chitters, tossing of pine cones, or in a worse case scenario, the rush down the tree into what I can only explain as Squirrel WWF. That is usually enough to send any cat hightailing it out of our yard and into the freeway. Problem solved.

However, on this particular day, Godzilla's arch rivals decided to show up. Enter the crows and magpies. For those of you who don't have any experience with these birds, count yourself lucky. They are EVIL. Not only are they smart, they harbor a cruel streak that makes Stalin look nice. I've watched them corner cats in the trees, pecking at them from behind while the kitties try to get away, their little paws attached firmly to the trunk and unable to defend themselves. My mom watched a small group of magpies attack a bunny in the yard, pecking it to pieces and leaving the corpse to rot.

Not. Nice. Birds. At. All.

They usually avoid the area around the house (we have a lot of property) because in the closet, there's a gun conveniently loaded with a bullet for each one of them. But we've been slacking as of late, so they're getting brave again (that'll have to be remedied ASAP).

Anyway, the birds see that Godzilla is in the tree, without his helpers anywhere in sight. They also see the cat. So, like the opportunistic vultures they are, the descend into the tree, getting as close to Godzilla as they could, cawing and shrieking, pecking at him when his back was turned. By this time, there's such a ruckus being made, I leave my spot from the window and go outside, hoping to get them all to STFU. It's like Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" outside or something. I get to the front door and open it just in time to hear what I've come to call, "The War Cry".

Godzilla stands up on his hind legs and starts screaming like he's being ground up in a combine. Everything gets real quiet for a minute. Even the stupid birds shut up. After a pause, I can hear angry jabbering from the other trees in our yard (we have a lot of them). The Calvary is coming. I go inside, not wanting any part of the battle that is about to begin in my front yard.

You learn something new everyday. Squirrels can scream. Amazing. I guess it's like rabbits. Rabbits make horrible noises when they get killed (seen them eaten by big snakes).

Origami Boulders

Thanks to my sis for sharing this site. I was so enamoured with it, I linked it under the "link" section in the side bar. Nice to see true artists sticking to their guns! If I had 25 bucks to spare, I'd buy one for my desk at work, just because I think he's so cool! Go check it out (make sure to read the angry e-mails he gets! They're priceless!)

Some highlights:

"I send you wadded paper with Priority Mail. It is fast with nice free box from Post Office.

And much, much more...

What RPG/Fantasy Character are you?

Aggressive, but with the brains to back it up: You are a Spellsword!


Score! You have a prestige class. A prestige class can only be taken
after you’ve fulfilled certain requirements. This may mean that you're
an exceptionally talented person, but it probably doesn't.

Spellswords combine arcane might with combat know-how. They're
much tougher than mages, like to wear armor, and can cast spells
through their weapons. They're very, very, good at doing lots of damage
to a single target very quickly, and while not quite as tough as most
fighters, are still pretty hard to kill.

You're both smart and aggressive, which means that you're probably
pretty dangerous when pissed off. You also tend to be somewhat
straightforward, which is nice, and don’t have much use for
spirituality or mysticism.

Damn. And here I was shooting for Oppressive God with penchant for irony. Thanks J, for posting this test.

I Melted the Earth!!!

Today, my sister put up some links on her blog (where do you find this shit?) and I took the liberties of playing around with a few of them. Mostly the ones pertaining to asteroids and mass destruction.

My favorite is this one. You see, little known to many of us commoners, there lurks this large asteroid (aptly called Asteroid 234308oefndf97434-1 Delta Niner) in our solar system. Every so often, this asteroid crosses our beloved planet's orbital trajectory (look at me using big words wrongly!) Without being too dramatic, this spells out BIG FUCKING TROUBLE if the timing is right.

Anyway, after studying the noted link above, I came to several of my own conclusions:

1.)That this site is best viewed while using a horseracing announcer's voice.
2.)While eating popcorn and going, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" when the near misses occur.
3.)Venus gets shmucked first (this may change from viewer to viewer)
4.)Mercury is an arrogant little bastard.

I don't think we have much to worry about. We'll get side-swiped in 2029, but from what I can tell, 2080 is the Big DayTM. Of course, there could always be a collosal behemoth plowing right for us at light speed and wipe us out tomorrow, but since we'll never know what hit us, I'm not to uptight about it.

This page would be a lot more fun if I knew what the hell all the big numbers meant. However, not being smart like that has its advantages. Random numbers are pretty entertaining. It only took me three tries to melt 24% of the earth.

Then I got this one:

The Earth is completely disrupted by the impact and its debris forms a new asteroid belt orbiting the sun between Venus and Mars.

Mission complete!

I'm sorry but, FUCK YOU!

The bill defined assisted reproduction as causing pregnancy by means other than sexual intercourse, including intrauterine insemination, donation of an egg, donation of an embryo, in vitro fertilization and transfer of an embryo, and sperm injection.

The required information includes the fertility history of the parents, education and employment information, personality descriptions, verification of marital status, child care plans and criminal history checks. Description of the family lifestyle of the intended parents also is required, including participation in faith-based or church activities.

WTF?

No, wait: What. The. Fuck?

I don't even live in Indiana and I got pissed reading about this stupid bill proposed by Sen. Patricia Miller (R). Was she doing the crack behind the water cooler when she thought this doozy up? That has to be it, because anyone who thinks something like this is a good idea has got to be on something. Multiple somethings. Maybe even a new drug we haven't even heard about yet.

Jesus Christ in a swimming pool!

Yes. Lets start culling the people who can and cannot breed. That's a great idea. But at least start with the lowest rung on the gene pool. Stupid people, like Miller, for example, shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. Nor should any of the people you find on THIS site either. Oh, wait, nevermind, they're all dead. But you get my point.

Did she honestly think the American people would nod their collective heads and go, "Gee whilickers Ms. Miller, I think you're right!"? Apparently she did:

Duh!

What a fucking idiot. Where did this twit get the crazy idea that two parents and a piece of paper automatically make good parents? 'Cause you know, no kid from a two parent family has been abused, turned out rotten, or lived in poverty. And there's never been a single parent that raised a decent, responsible, child--ever! Let's not forget that everyone who goes to church is a good and honorable person, competent enough to raise kids! Just look at the Catholic Church and those adoring priests! (sorry, couldn't help myself)

Ms. Miller. Get a clue. And while you're at it, mind your own fucking business and do your damn job--which doesn't entail shoving your moralistic values down the people's throat.

I took this test for J

You scored as Machinegun. Machineguns are not very good as personal sidearms - too heavy, too clumsy, too loud. But you don't care. Okay, it's your choise... Machinegun 81% SMG 75% Assault Rifle 69% Sniper Rifle 56% Shotgun 44% Pistol 44% Revolver 31% What Firearm Fits You Best? created with QuizFarm.com

Of course, I'm hardly surprised by my results. However, I'm still a bit miffed that the arcade in Spokavegas doesn't let me shoot real bullets...Damn them! *winks at J*

Shark Bait

Today, while driving to work, I overheard the people at the Playhouse talking about Reunion Island, a French controlled area in the Indian ocean, and the fishing practices they use to catch sharks. Apparently this entales sticking live dogs or cats with big hooks, tying them to the back of a boat, and dragging them along while they struggle and bleed in the water.

I was horrified. Not so much to the fact that they are using dogs and cats, but that the animals were alive, skewered with huge hooks, and then tossed into the water to be eaten or drown (which ever comes first).

Thinking that this had to be a hoax, I managed to find some time and sit down to do some research. Apparently it's true, but of course, the media and animal rights people have taken the story and run with it. The practice is not as widely spread as they'd like us to think, but still horrible enough as it is (Video Feed).

Of course, this brings out all sorts of arguments--the most popular being, "Well, it happens to fish all the time." True enough. I'll have to agree. Do we relate more to dogs and cats because they're smart? Because they're a popular pet? Because they're cute? Aren't little sheep, ducklings, rabbits, and deer cute too? And let's not forget the pigs. Pigs are smarter than dogs (sorry dog lovers, it's true).

Before I get lynched and burned, I'd like to say I'm hardly advocating this kind or torture. Because that's exactly what it is. These dogs and cats suffer, feel terror and pain, from the minute they're stuck with hooks (through their mouths, feet, or both) and then thrown overboard. Animal torture of this calibur is wrong, whether it be a dog, cat, sheep, pig, snake, parrot, etc. Keeping cattle in a feedlot to be butchered isn't torture. Keeping pigs on a pig farm isn't torture. Nor are housing chickens in a chicken mill. Are there some farms that use inhumane practices on those 'food' animals? Yes. And they're disgusting too.

Having worked at a major meat packing plant, I've seen the red tape and the ominous people in white coats carrying clipboards making their inspections hourly. Our plant even had closed circut cams to watch over the animals being taken to the 'kill room' to make sure the animals were put down with the least amount of suffering and distress. (unlike those poor chickens). Regulations on animals being raised for food have gotten more strict (perhaps still not strict enough). Not to mention that many people seem to overlook the fact that treating animals poorly usually means loss of animals, which equates to loss of revenue. This is bad for business. Cows, pigs, and chickens aren't as cheap as people think they are.

So where does a person draw the line? Me, being a meat eater and all, draw the line at unnecessary torture. Animals being kept for food (or bait) should be put down (ie:killed) quickly and with the least amount of distress. This includes fish, dogs, livestock, cats, guinea pigs, rabbits, or whatever you tend to think of as food. If you're a vegan, well, you don't have much to worry about I suppose (though plants are living things too, one could argue, since they respond to stimuli and their environment...).

At anyrate, animal rights has been, and always will be, a tricky subject. We live in a world where animals are necessary tools (sorry, but it's true), but they also deserve a certain level of respect as fellow citizens of the world. Where do we begin? There are so many arguments and factors--no one will ever agree.

Bleach (197) and Naruto(278)

A couple of big chapters last week. Stuff is happening, not all of it good. (what fun would that be?)

In Naruto, Deidara blows himself up, hoping to take down everyone in the area. Kakashi uses his super special mangekyou sharingan to zap Deidara and his explosion to 'another dimension' (what is this, Star Gate?). Everyone is saved.

Except Gaara. He lies lifeless--dead.

Sakura tries to heal him, but it's no good. By this time, Naruto has a melt down. He starts to cry, asking why it's always Gaara. Why does Gaara have to suffer. He turns on Chiyo-baa and lays the blame on them, telling her if it wasn't for them putting the Shuukaku inside Gaara, none of this would have happened. He also blames himself for being too weak to save anyone--Gaara and Sasuke specifically.

Chiyo-baa starts a jutsu and only smiles when they ask her what she's doing.

Sakura seems to understand--Chiyo-baa is going to give up her own life to save Gaara's.

And so the chapter ends. My predictions are that Chiyo-baa gives some long death speech and dies. Then Gaara wakes up. The end. Or, we'll have some long flashback story about Gaara's birth and Chiyo-baa's involvement...or something like that. Who the hell knows...Naruto is 'flashback friendly'.

Awww, hell...

So, the Soul Society has come to the real world for awhile. Well, Rangiku, Hitsugaya, Ikakku, Rukia, and Yumichika have anyway. The chapter opens while the gang, minus Ichigo and Rukia are still at school. Asano is coming down the hall, wondering what all the ruckus is. He opens the door to the classroom in his usual exhuberant way, and comes face to face with a pissed off, scaryass Ikakku (I think he wet himself). He then sees Rangiku and her--ah--assets, and makes a move, only to get pumbled in the face (ha ha!).

Shift to Ichigo's house. Rukia and Ichigo are in his room. His dad and youngest sister are listening through the wall (with glasses). Kon attacks Rukia, and is greeted--as usual--with her foot. Ichigo discovers his dad and sister outside and yells at them. Once all is quiet, he askes Rukia to finish her discription of the Arankaru.

...only to have the rest of the Soul Society group pop out of the ceiling fixture in the attic (so it wasn't the closet, but I was close! LMAO). Kon has a moment with Rangiku's breasts, only to meet the same fate as Asano.

Renji and Rukia begin a detailed lesson on the Arankaru (pictures included).

Ichigo learns that the Arankaru are hollows that have removed their masks and gained the power of a shinigami. They've been low in numbers until the introduction of the hougyoku. There are also three kinds of 'souped up hollows'. First, the lowest level, called Gilians. The menos are Gilians, as they are very big, very powerful, but have incredibly primitive intellect. Secondly are the Ajuukaru. They're smaller than the Gilians, therefore they have more mobility. Not only that, they are smarter, but not exactly 'smart' (I believe Yamii is an example--since it's his form we see next to the text). Lastly are the Vastoorode, the most powerful and dangerous of Aizen's new army. Theoretically, they've only existed in Hueco Mundo, and only in very, very small numbers (we see an image of Ulquiorra).

Hitsugaya (who managed to crawl up the house and through the window) tells Ichigo that if Aizen has even managed to increase the number of Vastoorode by ten, the Soul Society could be doomed.

And as of now, they know that there are ten Vastoorode working for Aizen.

Cut to black (ha ha). Yamii and Ulquiorra have returned and are about to give their report to Aizen. Aizen welcomes him home, as do the twenty other dark figures standing behind him...

Well crap. That's not good. Looks like the captains of the SS are going to have to train like mad. I wonder who's going to go down first? Someone's gonna die when this war takes off, I'll be shocked if it doesn't happen. However, I think I'm beginning to see where the Vaizards are going to come into play.

First, Aizen is targeting Ichigo because he sees him as a threat. Ichigo, though still untrained as a Vaizard, is stronger than a normal Captain (or has the potential to be). Secondly, the Vaizards themselves are stronger than the SS (or so I've gathered so far), since they are shinigami who have combined their power with that of a hollow's (odd, how that's just the opposite of the Arankaru). Since the SS is going to have serious trouble with the Vastoorode, the Vaizards will be necessary allies.

However, as of right now, we don't know where the Vaizards stand on this war. Who do they side with? Or do they even have a 'side'? We don't know much, if anything at all about the Vaizards yet. Surely Aizen knows of them, but has he targeted them yet? If not, why just Ichigo? Is it because he's a Vaizard and a 'pure blood' (his dad being a shinigami)?

Hmmm...lots and lots of questions. I'm sure many will be answered in time, but Bleach has a way of taking unexpected turns...I can't wait to see what happens thought!

I've Found My Dream Home

Right here! I'd have to get the Dogtrot Connector--to make room for both me and the big H. *heh*

Boom!

You scored as Bomb. Your death will be by bombing. You will probably be an innocent bystander, not doing anything wrong and not a person who was targeted at, just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bomb 67% Suicide 67% Posion 60% Disappear 60% Disease 53% Natural Causes 47% Gunshot 47% Stabbed 47% Cut Throat 20% Accident 20% Suffocated 20% Eaten 7% Drowning 0% How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com

I'm a bit disturbed that I being blown up and suicide are the same...WTF? It's unfair! Baised! Wrong, I tell you! Woe. I think I'm going to go slit my wrists while holding a hand-grenade now.