Ramblings of a Crowe

W.T.F?

Bleach and Naruto Summaries

Once more, I'm not going to talk about the anime this time. The Naruto fillers are just asinine. This weeks Bleach episode was good, but I'm to lazy to do screen caps of it right now.

So, that being said, on to this weeks manga chapters:

Naruto 265:

Granny and Sakura are facing off with Sasori. They do a lot of talking and Granny basically tells Sakura they need to break the puppet to get to Sasori (who is hiding inside). However, though Granny is familar with Sasori's puppets, she says that this one is an upgraded version and she's not certain what sort of tricks it's capable of.

They whisper to each other then attack head on. Sasori shoots out traps, but both Sakura and Granny dodge them. Sasori shoots out more traps and they get dodged again. Sakura closes in and demolishes the puppet.

End of chapter.

My thoughts? Nothing really exciting. Fighting and more fighting. I am happy to see Sakura isn't as whiny and useless as she was before. That's cool. I don't think that's the end of Sasori. If it is, I'll be pissed, considering he's a member of the Akatsuki and suppose to be "scary-dangerous-tough".

Things I want to know:
1.) Is Gaara really dead?
2.) What is Itachi really thinking?

Saving the best for last, now we'll move on to Bleach 184. Bleach never ceases to shock the hell out of me. It has far surpassed Naruto in the "exciting" department.

Bleach 184

The chapter starts off with Kon bitching about Ishida's fixing job. *laughs* Poor Kon is now made of lace and looks like some victorian doll. He also has a Quincy cross on the back of his head. After beating Ishida, Kon gets back to normal (though the cross is still on the back of his head).

Ichigo watches the exchange but keeps quiet. He's finally realized that Ishida no longer has Quincy powers (he snooped using his own spiritual powers). For some reason, Ishida doesn't want them to know, so Ichigo doesn't bring it up.

Later, in class, the transfer student is introducing himself. His name is Hirako Shinji. He's a bit strange and talks with the same accent as Gin (Osaka dialect). Intersting enough, he has written his name backwards on the board. The teacher mentions it and Hirako says he's good at "being reverse" (or something like that...I had a hard time reading this exchange...).

While this is going on, Ichigo is still thinking about Ishida and his lost Quincy powers.

Hirako is directed to sit in the back of the class. He takes a seat next to Ichigo. He says hello to Ichigo and asks if they can be buds, Ichigo starts to say "sure, whatever", but the ASP (Acting Shinigami Permit) goes off, indicating that a Hollow has appeared. Ichigo leaps up and runs out the door, shouting "Bathroom!"

Chad tells Hirako that Ichigo is just like that and to not worry about it. Hirako says it's okay--then makes a comment that Ichigo is just as he expected him to be.

Back at home, Ichigo is arguing with Kon. Kon threatens to sue him for violating a stuffed animals rights. Ichigo tells him to shut up and then uses the ASP to change himself into a Shinagami and to pull Kon out of his stuffed animal body. Kon says he's going to do dispicable things to ruin Ichigo's reputation while he's in Ichigo's body. He also whines that he want's Rukia to come back to him.

Ichigo leaves. The ASP is still barking "Hollow! Hollow!"

Ichigo runs into Kurumadani, the Shinigami who has taken over the area for Rukia. He asks who Ichigo is and Ichigo shows him the ASP. Kurumadani gets a weird look (scared) on his face, but then says he has no idea what the ASP is. Ichigo grumbles that the stupid thing doesn't do him any good.

Suddenly Hirako appears behind Ichigo--and he has a zanpaktou (soul slayer sword).

Hirako attacks Ichigo. Ichigo yells at him, asking him who he is. Hirako tells him to "hush" and that he shouldn't be so noisy--people with high spiritual power should be more quiet, or they'll be "noticed".

Confused, Ichigo asks Hirako, "Noticed by who?" Hirako makes an angry face and replies that Ichigo is an idiot of he has to tell him.

Meanwhile, Ishida is walking down the street and a Hollow appears behind him--and Ishida notices it...

Kon is goofing off in Ichigo's body. He's decided to go out for a night on the town, but something scares the crap out of him. He thinks Ichigo has noticed him at first, but once he realizes Ichigo is nowhere around (dumbass) he takes off down the street. Above him, the air cracks open and another Hollow appears--one we've seen before...

...one that has a grudge to seal.

And he sees Kon running down the street in Ichigo's body...

Oooohhhh! Heh! So many questions! No answers! Aaargh! Who is Hirako really? Is he a bad guy? Is he a good guy? I'm leaning towards "bad guy" right now. I'm wondering about all the "reverse" stuff. Personally, I think he comes from the Hollow world--perhaps he's one of those "advanced" shinigami/hollows. And what's up with his mouth? Was that weird thing his tongue?

I hope Ishida is okay. He can't protect himself like he could before. And Kon...stupid, stupid Kon. I hope he catches on that it wasn't Ichigo he noticed. I also hope he's okay...since our friend has returned and thinks he's Ichigo. It would be cool to see Kon fight...I mean, he was created to dispatch Hollows, but we always forget since he's such a moron.

Is this the first of many assults to come, choreographed by Aizen?

Bush O Meter

I really need to find a place to put this perminantly on my blog...

Designed by georgedorn and provided by Positronic Design.
Grab your own copy here.

And this is a message to all the parents who coddle their children these days (you think they'd know better...):

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

(thanks to S for e-mailing this to me)

I Love Animals

You know, stuff like this really makes me wonder whether or not we're acutally the most intellegent creatures on the planet.

*****

On another note, I've managed to survive another year. w00t! I'm **GASP** Twenty-nine today! HOLYCOWOMGWTFBBQ!

I feel like I'm 12.

***EDIT***

Thanks for the birthday wishes folks! Next year we can all point and laugh when I reach the big 3-0. Ooooohhhh....I fully intend to go to a park and play on the toys on my next birthday just to illustrate that growing up DOESN'T mean I have to watch CNN and worry about the stock market.

Big thanks to the people at work for embarrassing the hell out of me (which is really hard to do). *heh*

Random gender changes...

...in manga really bugs the hell out of me. Normally, I'm not one to complain too much about edits and mistakes, because shit happens, but making a man into a woman or vica versa just irritates me to no end.

I just read volume 2 of "Tactics". If I remember correctly, Sugino is MAN. That's why his relationship with Muu is so damn funny. All the funny is gone now...

I won't be buying the rest of this series in English. Instead, I'll buy the orginals Japanese GN's and read them. Thankfully, I can read enough Japanese to get by (with a handy dictionary nearby), but it still grips my ass the professionals do a shoddy job.

I'm pretty bummed over this. Tactics is a favorite of mine and I was looking forward to reading it in English (sooo much easier). Damn you ADV!

*heads over to Kinokuniya to by rest of Tactics series*

I Weep for our Future....

Now I don't agree with THIS article on many levels, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, if you're going to write and PUBLISH such an inflammetory topic in ANY newspaper, please do yourself justice and at least make an effort to write something that won't make you look like a total dumbshit. Using the Flinstones to illustrate how men are superior to women isn't the best way to get people to take your opinion seriously...

I couldn't read the entire article. The minute "Jessica Simpson" and "clever" were used in the same sentence, I closed the window. I refuse to debase myself by reading the dribble of a 16 year old girl with penis envy.

I know many intellegent, witty teenagers, but when I see stuff like this, I get frightened...

New Avatars/Icons

Made a bunch of new icons this weekend--about 30 of them. There's over at the photo bucket page.

Here are a few (don't take them from here, go get them at the photobucket site please):

And a few animated ones too:

And for those of us who enjoy a good 美人 once in a while, check this one out:

And that's it for now. Til next time--ta ta!

Naruto and Bleach

***NOTE: I have changed the Blog Name. I tend to do this from time to time, just to keep you people on your toes.***

Kenpachi

Bleach 36

It's about damn time! For what, you ask? The fight between Kenpachi and Ichigo! Most know I'm a big fan of Kenpachi, so the next few episodes of Bleach are going to have me grinning from ear to ear.

Ichigo and crew (Hanataro and Ganju) are running to free Rukia from her prison. A HUGE spiritual force stops them in their tracks. It immobilzes Hanataro and Ganju. Even Ichigo is oppressed by it.

Kenpachi is standing on a building. Ichigo feels the bloodlust and imagines he's been stabbed by a sword. Kenpachi tells Ichigo he's been waiting for him. Yachiru, the vice-captain pops up and comments on how much Hanataro is drooling. She jumps on Ichigo. Ichigo is stunned to learn the little girl is a vice-captain. He tells (screams at) Ganju to get the hell out of there. Ganju starts to bicker, but Ichigo yells at him again. Ganju grabs Hanataro and splits.

Kenpachi doesn't care. He wants to fight Ichigo. He offers Ichigo a free shot at him. Ichigo takes offense, then tries to slash Kenpachi. He hits him across the chest, only to discover it's not Kenpachi who is hurt. Ichigo's hands are bleeding.

Kenpachi tells Ichigo that one with a lower spiritual force cannot harm another who has a higher spiritual force. Ichigo won't be able to scratch Kenpachi.

Kenpachi is disappointed. He wanted to fight someone strong. Ichigo is nearly wetting his pants.

The show ends...however, this is just the beginning of a fight of epic perportions. (Zoso is smiling...and smiling...and smiling)

Bleach 183

Ichigo and crew are back home. It's a new school year. Kon looks like he's been run over by a truck (seriously...his eye is hanging by a thread and his stuffing is coming out). Ichigo leaves to go to school, notices the good luck charm his dad gave him. Ichigo tries to give it back, but of course, the usual argument ensues between them.

Things are normal at school. Except Chad and Orihime are hanging out at Ishida's desk; and they're getting an new transfer student. Ishida has been very quiet since their return. Tatsuki notices Ichigo's Shinigami Medallion. She asks why he's carrying around such and ugly thing. Ichigo is stunned she can see it. Ukitake told him no one but a Shinigami should be able to see it, since it would be too dangerous to someone who isn't a death god.

Ichigo is in class and the medallion (I forgot the name of it), starts shouting "Hollow! Hollow!" Scares the crap out of Ichigo. He leaves class, followed by Orihime and Chad. Tatsuki notices a orange haired shinigami running across the track.

After killing a Hollow, Ichigo, Chad, and Orihime are talking. They don't notice the person hanging upside down in the sky above them. He watches Ichigo...and he knows his name.

Hmmmm....

Tatsuki being able to see the medallion Ichigo carries is curious. I personally think her spiritual powers have finally manifested and she'll join the ranks of the rest of them. I don't think the new transfer student and the guy hanging in the sky are the same, but I could be wrong. The guy in the sky looks a lot like Gin, but I think that's just coincidence. My question is: What is he?

Naruto 264

I won't be talking about the cartoon for awhile. The fillers are stupid. Usually, I don't mind fillers, but this new "arc" of Naruto is just rediculous.

The manga is picking up again. Kakashi, Naruto, Baba (old woman), and Sakura are squaring off with Dedaria and Sasori. Dedaria bugs the hell out of me. Anyway, they've got Gaara's body. He doesn't look too good. In fact, he looks very dead.

Naruto starts yelling at Gaara to get up. Dedaria says he can't because Gaara is very, very dead. This pisses Naruto off and he freaks out. Naruto starts yelling at them to give Gaara back and he attacks, but Kakashi stops him.

Dedaria and Sasori argue over who gets to fight who. Naruto busts out a scroll, summons a shurikan and hurls it at the two of them. Sasori bats it away without even looking.

Dedaria decides he's going to fight Naruto. Naruto follows him, since Dedaria's paper/clay bird thingy picks up Gaara's body. Kakashi goes after Naruto.

Sasori squares off with his baba (grandma) and Sakura. Sakura is a bit worried, but Baba says not to worry. She pulls out a bunch of kunai and throws them at Sasori. Sasori shows them his puppet body and then tells them he's going torture, disembowl them, and then turn them into his puppets.

The big question: Is Gaara really dead? It certainly looks like as of right now. But why didn't they just leave the body? They didn't need it. I suppose we'll see. I am really hoping Baba-san (I forget her name too) opens a can of whup ass on her wayward grandson. My guess is they'll take each other down.

More interesting was last weeks chapter. Itachi's hesitation at telling the leader of the Akatsuki who the holder of Kyuubi was was interesting. His answer was curious too--very vague. I wonder what that was about...

Books and Wish-lists

Ahhh...I'm broke, but there's nothing like spending money. Ha ha! Today was payday, so I'm not as poor as I was before...so I spent sometime buying books.

I need another book like I need a friggen hole in my head.

Anyway, I picked up a book on Celtic legends and an interesting book that catagorizes the bible by reference. You would not believe how many times the death penalty is mentioned. I was a bit shocked...but that's another blog. I also found a book on heretics, very cool. Of course I bought some manga, "Land of the Blindfolded", "Hot Gimmick", "Tactics 2" (the screaming demon under this blog's title is Haruka from Tactics), and some other one that looked cool but I've forgotten the name of...how responsible of me.

I added a few things to my Amazon wish-list. It's overflowing with books and such. Found a CD that compliments the book I bought a month ago, "I, Lucifer". OMG! I laughed my head off. I think I'm going to buy that too, since I thought the book was fantastic (very, very funny story by a British author). I really want to get the movie Hitch too. I love Wil Smith. Ah, so much stuff I want, but so little money! Three books come out at the end of the month, so I'll have to put most of my desires on hold. *sigh*

Why can't I win the lottery?

New Avatars

Made some new avatars today. Nothing special. You can see them all HERE.

WOW...1500 hits...I'm a bit stunned...

Books: Rachel Morgan Series---By: Kim Harrison

An excerpt from The Good, The Bad, and The Undead:

Rachel and Nick have locked themselves inside a magic circle whilst the demon they "accidently didn't summon" roams around the kitchen...

The demon glanced at its wrist again. "Such a harsh mistress," it said elegantly, in a grand mood as it opened the freezer and took out a frozen box of microwave fries. "But as you're in the circle and I'm out here, I'll leave when I damn well please." Its white-gloved hand was enveloped in a red smear, clearing to show the fries steaming. Opening the fridge, it frowned. "No ketchup?"

*****

Ha ha! I can't tell you how much I love the books Ms. Harrison writes. They're full of humor and mystery. Not to mention all the characters are so vivid and likeable; including the bad guys.

Rachel Morgan is a witch with all sorts of problems. She's lost her job, had a death sentance on her head by her former employer, is living with a tempermental vampire, owes a demon a favor (hence his apperance in her kitchen), has some serial killer maniac after her, has been turned into a mink and forced to fight in the underground rat circut, has a pesky (but lovable) pixie as a partner, as well as numerous other issues that keep cropping up.

In Rachel Morgan's world, humans, witches, weres, fey, etc all live in an uncomfortable society. Demons have their own, and until recently, haven't had much use for the "real world". Magic is commonly used among Inderlanders, and there are black and white witches, as well as sorcerers and warlocks. Vamps are a part of society, both living vamps and dead ones. It's a vivid world with a culture all its own and keeps the story interesting.

These books are a great find, and anyone who likes Dark Fiction will probably enjoy them. Her next book is due out 6/28, "Every Witch Way but Dead", though I highly recommend reading the series in order.

Dead Witch Walking
The Good, The Bad, and The Undead
Every Witch Way but Dead

Do I Get Hazard Pay Too?

Being in the field of Agriculture, I'm always interested in what's going on in the news and today I happened upon this little gem of a story.

I'm inclined to agree with the article. Landscaping and lawn/tree care isn't a job for kids. We all know that "most" kids, especially teenagers, feel they have this aura of invincibility about them...which is a scary thought even without them weilding weedwhackers or lawnmowers. Supervised by an adult, I'd still be pressed to day "it's okay", as accidents usually happen in the blink of an eye. I can already picture some kid mangling his/her hand by sticking it under a running mower. *cringe*

Alone, absolutly not.

Sure, there are kids who are capable of handling these sorts of jobs responsibly. Good for them. Parents should know their children and their limits. Sadly, most don't. I recently told my neighbors that my son wouldn't be able to feed their dogs or mow their lawn while they were away. He's not responsible enough to be trusted with a lawn mower, nor do I trust their dogs enough to let him feed them (they already bit one kid).

Any job requiring moving parts that have the potential to put out an eye, severe limbs, administer 3rd degree burns, isn't a job for kids. Instead, let them pull weeds, rake up grass, etc. Nothing wrong with that, and it's safe. Leave the more dangerous jobs for the adults.

Religion on All Sides?

As of late, I've been doing some research for a book I'd like to write. I've been pouring over information regarding various religions, good vs evil, demons, angels, fey, Gods and Goddess, magic, etc. I've even spent some time researching Satanism.

I've come to a conclusion about all religion. A very important one that has solidified my "on the fence" attitude.

Here it is:

All organized religion is full of shit.

All of it. I don't care if you're a catholic, a jew, a muslim, a satanist, a wiccan, a buddist...whatever. It all boils down to this fact:

So shut the fuck up and quit bitching at each other. Believe what you want. Worship who and what you want. Just stop friggen fighting about everything.

Honestly, I think the reason people are turned off by religion these days isn't because they don't want to believe in a God/Goddess, whatever. No, I think it's because they don't want to be pulled into the schoolyard pissing match that religion has become. I know I don't. Christans say everyone not like them are bad (even other christans), Satanists say the bible is a lie and Christans are the evil ones, Wiccans think both are bad since everyone but them is killing the earth, the Muslims hate everyone just like the Christians...

Aaargh!

The more I pour over information on religious texts, myths, and demonolgy, etc., the more I want to tear my hair out. Double talking? Hypocrisy? Hate-mongering? Demonizing? MY GOD! (excuse the pun) There's not a single religion I've come across that isn't responsible of one or more of these.

And don't get me started on the inconsistancies of the religious texts I've read, the bible included.

They're all just as bad as the other. That means you, Mr. Christian...and you too Mr. Satanist...and you as well, Ms. Wiccan.

It pisses me off. Faith is just faith. It's not fact...and that's what I thought made faith so special. Faith was suppose to make people feel good about themselves, feel strong, and give them courage. Instead it's become some sort of poison that feeds hate and intolerance. Religion = misery these days. It's really quite sad. We've used a good thing to harm each other for thousands and thousands of years. Only humans are capable of that kind of irony, if you ask me, and only they are sick enough to try and justify it as a "justice".

If there is a God, or Goddess, or whatever, s/he has probabably long since abandoned us since we're all a bunch of selfish little pigs. Not to mention stupid and pretty much not worth saving.

I'll never be a member of any congregation. Ever. I'll make my own decisions about faith and worship on my own. To hell with the flocks of mindless, brainwashed sheep.

Ye Shall Be As Gods...

...but only if you have a lot of money and are really famous. Then you get a free pass to murder, rape, and molest children.

Ah yes...just as OJ before him, Michael Jackson gets away scott free. Let's hear it for protecting our children and keeping our streets safe!

Yay America!

Movies

I just finished watching Troy, and really enjoyed the film. Despite being American, I think I followed it fairly well (*snark at previous blog*). It was actually interesting to see it put to picture, instead of reading the story.

I've also rented "The Notebook" and "Electra", but I'll probably watch them tomorrow. I also have "Phantom of the Opera" to watch as well. I usually don't watch a lot of movies. I have a handful of favorites and that's about it.

"The Green Mile" is probably my utmost favorite film. People shy away from it since the book was written by Stephen King, but honestly, it is one of his best pieces of work IMO. Tom Hanks was excellent and Titanic has nothing on this show when it comes to the tear factor. When I went to see it in the theater with one of my big, strong, scary male friends, even he was teary eyed. Go watch it if you haven't seen it already.

"Where the Heart Is" is another favorite film of mine. The story of Novalee Nation, a 17 year old pregnant girl who lives in a Walmart until she gives birth to her baby. Sounds hokey, but the show is incredible. It detail the story of Novalee's struggle to find a place in the world and rise above the common sterotypes that have ground themselves into American culture (uneducated southern woman, knocked up too young, jobless, homeless, etc). Very touching story. I suggest reading the book too.

"The King and I" is a classic. God, I love this show. Ha ha! I won't explain it, since most have probably already seen it.

"Last Samurai" with Tom Cruise; "Red Beard" and "7 Samurai" by Akira Kurosawa; "The Breakfast Club" and "Sixteen Candles"; "Brahm Stokers Dracula"; "I am Sam"; "Clockwork Orange"; "Sleepless in Seattle"; "Money Pit" (OMG--this is a must SEE!); "Jerry McGuwire"; "Pay it Forward"; and a couple others here and there.

If you get the time, go check them out! They're worth at least one watch.

:P

Why is it...

...that everyone and their dog is suddenly an expert on Americans?

Seriously. I want to know. I mean, everyone seems to have an opinion on us. If a person hasn't been here, hasn't visited the US in depth, hasn't talked or dealt with more than a handful of us Americans, then how do they know so much about us?

I happened across this little piece of work and just shook my head. Obviously biased, if you look where the article came from (*coughMiddleEastcough*), but still I find it ironic that people call us ignorant and arrogant.

Let me clear a few of these misconceptions up:

1. Driving slowly in the fast lane. Americans consider it their privilege to amble along in the fast (left-hand) lane, while swifter drivers overtake in the near-side lane (for which European policemen would arrest them straightaway). Clumps of slower drivers impede traffic and set the stage for pileups. This is the sad result of misguided egalitarianism. Americans believe that they should be able to drive wherever they wish, whereas class privilege rules the road in Europe. Faster cars belong in the fast lane and nudge slower-moving vehicles out of the way.

Obviously, this person hasn't ridden in a car with me, or any of my friends (except J...who drives slow but keeps to the slow lane), or any other American. Wasn't "road rage" coined here in the violence of the US? The streets of America are AGRESSIVE folks. The minute you step in a car and pull out of your garage, you're taking your life in your hands. Everyone in this country is in a hurry. Everyone has places to go. Everyone is speeding, cutting each other off, swerving in and out of traffic. Everyone has to be first in line. Those slow put-put along idiots driving in the fast lane piss us other drivers off. THEY DON'T BELONG THERE! Get me behind one of them and I'll let go a stream of explicative and hand gestures that would make the devil himself blush. God, just thinking about it is making me angry.

Case in point. A good friend of mine was hit by a truck last year while riding his bicycle. Actually, the driver passed him on the road, in a hurry to pull into her drive way. She slammed on her brakes after going around him, turned to enter her driveway, and he hit her doing 30 miles an hour. Broke his neck.

Another example: The ominous Blue Bridge here in my city. Every week there are at least two accidents during rush hour traffic. These accidents are caused by people cutting off other drivers while hurrying to squeeze into the off-ramps that take them into the Highlands of our city. Note, this takes place on a highway, where the speed limit is 55mph. The highway where I live has a record of 17 head on collisions all ending in death in one year. Why? People passing on a two lane highway--because they were in a hurry.

So, no, misinformed author trying to reach for things to belittle us Americans. WE drivers loathe the slow jackasses who cause pile-ups and think they can drive anywhere they want just as much as you, or anyone else in other countries. In fact, here, in the US, people have been shot for it (road rage). Nice huh? *shakes head*

2. Burnt coffee at exorbitant prices. The most popular cafe chain, whose name decent people do not pronounce, burns its coffee beans to produce what Americans mistakenly believe is an authentic European taste. Proper coffee, by which of course I mean Italian coffee, is bittersweet, not burned. Americans evidently hate the wretched stuff because they drown its flavor in a flood of milk, in the so-called "latte", something I never have observed an Italian request during many years of travel in that country. By contrast, Italians drink cappuccino, mixing a small amount of milk into the coffee and leaving a cap of foam. If Americans do not like it, why do they buy it at exorbitant prices? They do so precisely because the high price makes it a luxury, but an affordable one for secretaries and shop girls.

Uh...I'm not a coffee drinker. I think all coffee, no matter where it comes from or what it smells like, is disgusting. My question is, who cares if Americans like to sweeten coffee or tea? I like my steak friggen bloody and think burnt meat is grotesque. I believe it's a matter of preference and has no reflection on intelligence. As for Italian names, I assure you, most of us could care less what our food is named or where it came from. Latte, cappuccino, coffee, tea, ocha, milk-tea...what ever. Why is this important?

One thing I've noticed about us Americans is we have a sweet tooth. When my friends from Japan, Russian, Denmark have sent me candies and such, I've always found them bland compared to the stuff we have in the US. A CULTURAL preference, nothing more, nothing less. I don't think less of them for candies tasting blah.

3. Dishwater masquerading as tea. Order tea from an American, and you will receive a cup of lukewarm water and a tea-bag. No beverage on earth is more revolting than this. This and the previous item bring to mind a riposte attributed to Abraham Lincoln: "Waiter, if this is coffee, then bring me tea. But if this is tea, then bring me coffee."

Once again...tea isn't big here. Another cultural thing. I like certain teas (Green Tea, Oolong Tea), but it's not something us Americans go looking for or must have daily. Tea doesn't make a person cultured. It's just a drink. Don't like our tea...make your own.

Hell, we even threw the shit into Boston Harbor. That should give you a good idea of what we think about tea. :P

4. Wood-flavored wine. Americans know as little about wine as they do about coffee. California winemakers throw oak chips into vats of fermenting chardonnay in order to simulate the effect of aging in oak barrels. That is true only for the cheaper wines, but the dearer ones taste just as woody. The American idea of a "big wine" is to suffuse cabernet sauvignon (properly used to produce a delicate wine) with the taste of oak. At best, American wines offer a soporific sort of smoothness, but never achieve the quirkiness, eccentricity and character which make European vineyards an enchanted realm.

Ah ha ha ha! You silly writer you. (Ag student steps forward) You might want to do a bit of research before you start bashing American vineyards. To insult us, is to insult France, which is where the root stock for our vineyards originated. THEN...back in the day, when France was plagued with root weevils, guess where they came to get "original root stock" to replenish their vineyards? Hmmm...

Farming is a funny business, isn't it?

5. Shopping-mall architecture. Most middle-sized American cities have disappeared into a suburban morass, while shopping malls have replaced the old town centers. Americans in most parts of the US have no other place to congregate. Even churches are relocating to shopping malls in order to accommodate the habits of their congregations. Unlike European cities (and older American ones) the public aspect of cities is entirely absent: churches, public buildings, monuments and so forth. The omnipresence of purely commercial architecture depresses the mind; Europeans accustomed to viewing well-proportioned buildings in their daily perambulations find it difficult to spend more than a day or two in such places.

I have never, ever seen a church in a shopping mall. Perhaps a few blocks away, but there are churches all over the towns and cities of the US. We have no place to congregate? Uhhh...that's funny...because I seem to remember that many of the cities I've been to, including my own, are laced with clubs, HUGE ASS parks, amusement parks, churches, libraries, museums, movie houses, etc. What the hell part of the US did this yahoo visit?

One thing to remember about us Americans: We LIKE TO BE ENTERTAINED. We don't like being bored and we strive to have things to do with ourselves. Why the hell do you think Hollywood is so friggen huge? Or our music business? Or Disneyland?

As for shopping malls. Economics baby. We like to spend money. Shopping malls are convenient. Where you find a shopping mall, you find a plethora of other businesses, restaurants, movies houses, etc around it. Good Business. Smart Business.

6. A consensus national restaurant menu (Mexican-Italian-seafood-podge). A generation ago, one could be sure of obtaining sawdust sausages, Scotch eggs and pork pies in any British pub (and often a ploughman's lunch with Wensleydale cheese). Today, one can count on finding pizza, tacos, fried shrimp, Caesar salad and cheeseburgers in any American restaurant, as the American melting pot transforms various national cuisines into indistinguishable blobs of grease and dough. Unification of American cuisine is not much of a loss, as the local cuisine was wretched to begin with, but the result is nonetheless disheartening. Anti-globalists have made a target of the purveyors of fast food, but the chains have homogenized other cuisines, such as seafood, Italian, Mexican, steak and so forth. In the place of texture and flavor Americans receive grease and quantity, which helps explain why they are so podgy.

Heh. I'll agree that a lot of our "authentic foreign cuisine" has a lot to be desired, but us Americans expect that. HOWEVER, thanks to cultural diversity, if you know what you're looking for, you can get AUTHENTIC FOOD anywhere. Want Japanese or Chinese? Got myself a great restaurant here in town that is authentic. In Seattle, my heaven for when I want good Asian food, they're everywhere. In my home town, Mexican food made and served by Mexicans is on every corner. I'm fully aware the flautas I buy at Red Robin aren't authentic, but I know where to get real ones if I want them.

Mr. Writer wasn't looking very hard.

7. Chewing tobacco. What more can one say? Heinrich Heine, the greatest poet of mid-19th century Germany, wrote, "Sometimes I think of emigrating to America, but I am frightened by a country where human beings chew tobacco."

We won't go here. :P But I will say, South America is just as bad as we are. At least smokers here aren't allowed to contaminate us non-smokers with their vile carcinogens in public. From what I understand, in many other countries, this is still allowed. Nothing sucks worse than trying to enjoy a meal while coughing up a lung because the people behind you can't refrain from smoking for an hour. A matter of culture...and preferences.

8. Hand-me-down high culture. Not to possess a high culture is no shame; the Pilgrim Fathers of New England rejected Western high culture as they found it in favor of a radical return to ancient Israel. Like Moliere's bourgeois gentleman, the Americans of the 19th century decided that a high culture suited their new respectability. Americans who would not recognize an allegory if it ate them alive by inches, and cannot read a line of Dante Alighieri or Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, gush over Herman Melville's confused and overwrought Moby Dick. American scholars who have not heard of the 16th century Lazarillo de Tormes claim that Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn is a work of originality. Harold Bloom, the defender of the "Western Canon" against the barbarian hordes of deconstructionism, enthuses over Walt Whitman's onanistic (in the literal sense of the term) excuse for verse. Bloom dismisses the critics of the left as "resentniks", but is resentment not the other side of the coin of pretension? In any case, these are the embarrassing pretensions of two generations past, the putative classics beloved of American conservatives. University students today are more likely to wade through the works of black and feminist writers as a counterweight to the "elitist" high culture of Melville and Whitman, that is, if they are not occupied with courses on film and comic books.

Put down the purple pen, writer. You're making my eyes bleed. Silly bigot, making broad assumptions of us Americans. You'd be surprised at how many of us have read masters such as Dante Alighieri (glances at bookshelf). As for the American Classics that we gush over, like Huck Finn, we don't expect you foreigners to understand or appreciate them (I doubt you've even bothered to read them). We understand the allegories our writers have put in front of us and we love them, that's enough for us. Perhaps if they pertained to YOUR culture and history, they might have more meaning to you.

Anyone who writes professionally would know that borrowed ideas are nothing new to authors around the world. I find it extremely funny Mr. Pretentious would bring this up, considering the most borrowed from piece of literature in the world is the Bible. Especially when it comes down to the classics he so obviously loves.

Ah, bless our film students. If it wasn't for them, where would the world get their movies? Good ones? Hollywood rules the movie industry and everyone knows it. There are good films from other countries out there, but American movies bank the bucks world wide. As for comic books...once again...Spiderman? X-men? We excel in entertainment. Nothing to be ashamed of...though the Japanese have us cornered in the comic department, but until recently, they haven't broken into the world market. Silly writer. Do your homework. Once again, your idea falls flat due to your ignorance and sheer blind hatred of anything American. Bad journalism. Bad writing.

Gullibility. If Americans will buy chardonnay saturated with oak chips to the point of resembling turpentine, burnt coffee disguised by sweet hot milk, chain-restaurant parodies of Italian food, and hand-me-down literary classics, what will they not buy? Itinerant European academics turn up on their shores in emulation of the gypsy Melchiades in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude, from Paul de Man on the left to Leo Strauss on the right.

Gullible? Americans? Please illustrate a point besides all the rife bullshit you've mentioned above. Ignorant? Yes, in some things. Arrogant? Yes. Gullible? No. We're opportunistic. Gullible is the masses of Islamic people cowed by their religious leaders. But hey, if they want to live that way, so be it. Gullible are the people who read garbage like this piece you've written and believe it. Anyone who knows an American knows we're stubborn and pig-headed to a fault--we like our freedom far too much to be gullible.

So, when all is said and done, what we have here is an article that is full of anti-Americanism. It's a sad, pitiful, piece of work that was written to spread hate and misconceptions. Stereotypes are ugly things, and anyone who has an "anti-people" attitude is a dangerous being indeed. Instead of trying to take the time to learn and understand, they billow out junk like this to feed their loathing and vileness.

So you don't like Americans. Fine. I just find it really sad that people are willing to lump an entire group of people together and hate them equally when they have little, to no, understanding about them. Nor do they even try.

It's easy to hate someone. It's harder to understand someone. It's human nature to take the easy way out; and when we boil it all down, we're all just human. A sad, but solid truth.

Household Remedies

Did You Know That? Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve
headache pain almost immediately -- without the unpleasant
side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."

Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for
burns.

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with
mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong
Altoid s peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief
for aching muscles.

Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer Just dissolve two
tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset
of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract
infections almost instantly -- even though the product was never been advertised for this use.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes... Cover the blemish with a dab of
honey and place a! Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing Works overnight.

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus... Get rid of unsightly toenail
fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful
antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.

Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from
loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Coca-Cola cure for rust... Forget those expensive rust removers. Just
saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... If menacing bees, wasps,
hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of ! Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.

Smart splinter remover...just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the
splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The
splinter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt's tomato paste boil cure< U>...cover the boil with Hunt's tomato
paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain
and bring the boil to a head.

Balm for broken blisters! ...To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a
few drops of Listerine... a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz vinegar to heal bruises... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar
and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a
few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.

Rainy day cure for dog odor... Next time your dog comes in from the
rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog sme ll springtime fresh.

Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil
in your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites,and accelerates healing.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief....It's not! for breakfast anymore!
Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the
microwave for 1 minute, cool
slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from
arthritis pain.

Funny Junk

Sorry folks. I've been busy these past few days. I'll catch up with everyone as soon as it dies down here. All is not lost! (as if any of you give a shit anyway)

Between work, getting ready for school to end, Hunter getting into shoving matches with the mentally challenged children at school, I've been immersed in other stuff. (No, my son doesn't beat up on kids with disabilities...they apparently beat up on him...)

*sigh*

So anyway...

For the time being, amuse yourself on THIS site. I'll probably post again in a day or two.

Byakuya Makes a Funny!

I never thought THIS guy would make me laugh...nor did I ever expect to see suprise on his face...Ha ha!

And so ends the Soul Society arc of Bleach. Rukia has decided to stay and everyone else is heading home to the mortal world. I'm kinda sad...but I don't think this is the last we've seen of them yet. Aizen has gotten away with the hougyoku and there's still that deal with the Grand Fisher and Ichigo's strange mask. Oh yeah...and the mystery behind Urahara...

I wonder if we'll see an all out war between the Hollows and Soul Society in the near future?

Honey, it wasn't your wiener they were laughing at...