Ramblings of a Crowe

Firsts

Last night is the first night I actually slept well. I didn't have any dreams, I didn't wake up in the middle of the night worried about losing my job, I didn't go to bed with a sick feeling in my stomach. I even woke up at 8am. Every other morning before this one, I would wake up at like 3 or 4am--blaming it on going to bed too early, but in reality it was my nerves. I'd wake up, just wanting to get the day started so I could get it over with.

For the first time in years, I woke up feeling relieved.

I gleefully told my mom, "Hey! I don't have to go to Hell today!" I had long since nicknamed my former place of employment, "hell"--though in some respects, I think Hell would be more pleasant.

Do I regret working for that company for seven years? The angry part of me whispers, "Yeah, I do," but the rational part of me says, "Nope." I walk away from that place with a wealth of knowledge about customer service and office politics, and the privilege of having met some of the coolest people ever. Granted, I've also met some of the shadiest, slimiest, most unethical, and dumbest people on the face of this earth there too--but even they are interesting study material, if not great for comedic value.

So I'm not angry about losing my job. Hell, even I thought my lay off was a great idea. I am angry about all the lying and bullshit that has gone on over the past year, specifically the last few months. Instead of being dragged along like a battered carcass behind a truck for the last couple weeks, I would have preferred certain managers (not my direct supervisor) have been upfront with me from the beginning and canned my ass earlier. Honestly, I hate nothing more than people who are sneaky liars. I can only hope that someday they each get what the deserve. Karma can be a bitch.

At least I got my Employee of the Month award before I got kicked to the curb. Go me.

Anyhoo, to recant my parting words, "Please don't ever call me to work for this company again." Indeed. And if anyone ever asks me if it is a good place to work, I'll calmly reply, "Don't go there." Take that as you will.

In other news, I got a job today. I start the 18th. For the first time in years, I'm actually excited to go to work. I had so much fun in the interview today! The people I talked with were great! It was like chatting with old friends. I was immediately offered a position. I'm so excited! I can't say this enough, but thanks J, for helping me out. I probably would've never given it another shot if you hadn't encouraged me.

—ˆ�T�A“ú–{Œê‚̃eƒXƒg‚ª‚ ‚è‚Ü‚·�B‚â‚×�[�@Next week I take my Japanese final. I think I'll do ok on it. Now that I am free of all the stress I've been under, I'm finally enjoying class again. Too bad it's the last week...there is a rumor of Japanese 201 being offered next year...I'll have to see what the job situation is like then, but I'd really like to take a second year. I've learned so much already.

Well, that's enough for today. I've got a pile of books to read and I'm seriously thinking of getting back to writing again. I haven't had the heart to do so in a long time, but now I'm feeling better. We shall see.

Posted by Zoso at June 5, 2007 03:05 PM