Dear Mexico,
Please drop all charges against Duane Chapman (aka Dog the Bounty Hunter) and associates. In return, the US will return to you all criminals from Mexico currently residing in our prison system and on our streets. No, really, you can have them back. Most Americans won't even raise a fuss to extradite them.
We understand that bounty hunting is a crime in Mexico. I'm sure Mr. Chapman and pals are sorry they apprehended serial rapist extraordinaire Andrew Luster. We'd let you have him too, but really didn't think it fair your wives and daughters be subjected to a disgusting waste of trash like that. Sorry for caring. We'll be sure to let him know that when he finishes his 124 year sentence, your country will be waiting with open arms for him to return. You can even throw him a galla. Make certain only to invite the most elite coyotes and richest drug cartel lords, okay. Mr. Luster is an important guy.
We'd like to extend the offer to go halvsies on a wall along our border. This is the only way the Mexican people left in Mexico can rest assured American bounty hunters won't be sneaking into the country to do horrible things like arrest rapists and then go home.
Thanks again,
The USA
Posted by Zoso at September 16, 2006 06:35 PMLMAO
You have to admit, it is a pretty ingenius plot on Mexico's part. Dissuade people from coming to get American criminals in Mexico, because after all...American criminals are loaded in Mexico and it's good for the economy. Meanwhile, send mexican criminals to the US because they are uneducated and have no money to bribe authorities with.
Posted by: Sarah at September 16, 2006 07:33 PMYes, but we're on to them now. Instead of bounty hunters, we'll send zombie ninja pirates. No law against THEM.
Posted by: Zoso at September 16, 2006 08:18 PMLooks like my theory; that the only thing about Mexico that doesn't suck is the food, still stands. What else can you really say about a country whose government is that crooked, whose people aren't willing to fight for a change, and who's air quality is about that same as clamping your lips down over a car's exhaust pipe. They say it's pretty, but I'm not sure what the view is like after you've been chocked by carbon fumes, raped by the fugitives they protect, and don't have enough money to bribe the police for their protection.
Posted by: J at September 16, 2006 08:45 PMDOG IS MY 'EFFING *HERO*. I am so pissed right now.
Posted by: J00kst3r at September 17, 2006 12:59 PMWTF!! They arrested Dog!? I can't believe that those bastards arrested a man that was doing them a favor by taking in a criminal. Dog friggin rocks!
Posted by: Mia_Hoshifaia at September 17, 2006 05:57 PMSo, I saw something about this on MSNBC yesterday and I didn't realize that he was being arrested for something that happened years ago. US Marshalls hunted the man down. It seems kind of curious that he would be sought after all this time. I wonder who has a deal in motion on this one. Shame on the US for playing along.
Posted by: J at September 18, 2006 02:37 PMYes, shame on the US. That's what pisses me off the most about the whole thing. Anyone can run off to Mexico and be safe from the law, but if Mexico wants one of our criminals, all they have to say is jump. That's just fucked up--like all the rest of our foriegn relations...
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