His mother, Yoshiko, wouldn't tell me his name, fearful that neighbours in this Tokyo suburb might discover her secret.
Her son is 17 years old. Three years ago he was unhappy in school and began to play truant.
Then one day, he walked into the family's kitchen, shut the door and refused to leave.
It's called Hikikomori. You can find several articles on this phenominon here and here. Over a million people in Japan, mainly young men in their late teens or early 20's, lock themselves away in their homes and refuse to come out. For what reason, no one really seems to know. Bullying at school or in the work place, to much expectations put on them, stress, lack of social skills, under-laying mental illness, poor family structure, depression...the list could go on. What really stands out though, is the fact that no one seems to be willing the help these people. They are an embrassment to themselves and their familes, hidden away and cottled by their parents or familes.
Here, in the west, we call it agraphobia, the fear of going outside. People claim what's going on in Japan is different, but I don't think so. What's different is the way they handle the situation, which makes the case more extream.
00.11.13
Mai translating Yasuo
About two years. But he hasn’t spoken to his parents for
four or five years now.
00.11.19
Phil Rees
There’s no communication whatsoever?
00.11.24
Mai translating Yasuo
Nothing.
00.11.25
Phil Rees
How does he eat or…
00.11.34
Mai translating Yasuo
Well he doesn’t know, nobody knows. All they know is
that he is still alive.
Wow...that's incredible. Living in the same house for four years and NEVER speaks to his parents, never leaves his room (that they know of), nothing. It's really difficult for me to put my hands around a situation like this. What astounds me is the way they deal with the problem, by not doing a damn thing about it. They try to hide it. They're ashamed of it.
00.12.23
Phil Rees
So while those two head off to the house where the boy in
the bedroom lives. We have to stay here in the car, my
cameraman and I. We’ve been told in fact we can’t even
go outside because we’ll probably attract attention from
prying neighbours. But what we’ve done is we’ve given
Mai, our translator, a video camera so that she can record
whatever happens inside the house.
This probably one of the biggest reason the problem in Japan has gotten so out of hand. Things like this bring major shame upon their family. They're schooled to hide or ignore problems like these, but unfortunatly, these issues just don't go away. Typical of other cultures as well, you'll here the various doctors and analyists studying the problem to find excuses, such as "technology" and "poor mothering skills". I shake my head when I hear stuff like this. Technology isn't an entity on it's own. It can't MAKE anyone play a game or watch TV 24/7. It's a person's responsibility to moderate what they're doing. Duh...If a person doesn't have the skills or capacity to do this, there's something wrong with them that requires professional help. As for the poor mother/child relationship...well, I'd say in regard to most of the cases on the reports listed above, it's not just the mom and son who have problems. The whole family probably had issues to begin with.
00.13.14
Phil Rees
The strain has had its toll on the family. Tomatsu’s
parents are separating. A few days earlier his mother
talked to him through the bedroom door.
00.13.25
Mother
Voice over
I spoke to him about custody. I said; ‘you can choose
either your father’s side or mine so please decide by
yourself’. Well of course there was no response from him
just silence as always. So I said; ‘okay, I’ll leave a note
here, please tick either me or your father’. When I came
home later I found my name totally crossed out. When I
saw it I was very shocked!
00.13.50
Yasuo
Voice over
This is a definite improvement on what’s been happening.
00.13.56
Mother
Voice over
Yes it is. He’d been ignoring me until then, so I should be
pleased that he at least answered me.
Being American, I honestly can't understand how the situation has gotten so out of hand in this particular case. It's a matter of culture, something I can't possibly comprehend. Where I live, if you locked yourself in a room at your parents house, they'd kick the door in and either haul you off to the medical center or kick your ass out on the street. Nothing like a little fear of being homeless or commited to the funny farm to make you think through your problems...Maybe if a few of these cases knew they might not have a roof over their head, meal in their belly, or a game cube to play all day, they'd be a bit more reluctant to go to such extreams. Then again, maybe they'd be a suicide statistic instead? I dunno, but the entire system is set up to enable people for this kind of behavior. It's actually very sad.
How did they get to be this bad? Somewhere, something in these familes failed. Many of these people went into hiding after some sort of major event, like bullying, failing exams, etc. Are Japanese parents not paying attention to their kids problems? I've heard that in Japane, the victim of bullying is the one at fault, not the bully themselves. That's pretty harsh. Bullying can make a kid snap, even here in the US when there is little parental support from the family. Exam failure is a bit tough to swallow, but once again, it's a matter of culture. In Japan, schooling is incredibly important. Kids often go to school after school. They go home to study. Here in the US, you might get sent to summer school or held back a grade, but studies aren't taken as seriously. Here, most parents believe that kids have to have a life outside of school during their education years. American kids aren't under the same amount as stress as their Japanese counterparts when it comes to schooling.
Sadly, Japan isn't much different than many other places in the world when it comes to mental health issues. They're probably worse off, since they believe that issues like that are "family problems". Here in the US, mental health has just recently come into the light. Treatments can be hard to diagnose and support is difficult to find, but the new awareness is helping. There are people studying the problem of Hikikomori and offering solutions, but the treatment tends to be passive. Western doctors feel that time is of the essence when treating Hikikomori, but the Japanese feel that making the sufferers comfortable is the key. I'm not sure about that, since I think comfort is part of the problem. If it's too easy to lock yourself away, why bother venturing out again?
Overall, the problem is at least coming to the public light. That's a good step. A first step. Honestly, I think a change in culture will have to happen to help these young people, but stuff like that takes time. Agraphobia in western states can be severe, but thankfully, most of us lack the co-dependant relationships that the Hikikomori thrive on. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out in the future.
Posted by Zoso at January 17, 2005 05:00 AM