Ramblings of a Crowe

Fanfiction/Original Reviewers

I happen to enjoy reading fanfiction (no, this wasn't spawned by Arxane's post on his blog ). Occasionally I'll even write a story if something strikes me. I like to write almost as much as I like to draw, but I'm far from perfect in either catagory.

I'm working on getting together material for a major piece of original fiction. I've been working at it for many months and the story has been in my head for at least two years. Original fiction is more difficult to write than fanfiction. At least, that is, if you plan on writing a good story. Research is key to making orginal fiction work, and research takes time. Lots of it. So fanfiction has become a creative outlet for me. All the elements are there. I have everything I need to work with. The characters are "built", their environment is set. All the author has to do is make their story work.

There's a lot of crappy fanfiction out there. Hell, there's a lot of crappy orginal fiction right in the bookstore. I mean, if you're going to spend so much time writing a story, why not take a bit of pride in it and make it look good. That means, no rushing, spell checking, re-reading and re-reading again until everything sounds right, doing research when you don't know something, etc.

Listening to others and asking help is the best way to improve. People have good imput most of the time. I send J some of the stuff I write and I can count on him to be honest. Having someone look from the outside in is fantastic, since they aren't biased about characters and haven't spent so much time on the story that their eyes are crossed.

HOWEVER, this post is meant to address the reviewers. The very people who are suppose to help us grow. For a long time, I've noticed that various fanfic places that offer visible posts by reviewers is crawling with FIRST CLASS JACKOFFS. You know these people when you read their reviews. They're mean, rude and totally classless. They're the ones who are sarcastic. They point to all the bad and never touch on the good. They're the ones out there trying to make people feel like shit about their work.

Why?

Hell if I know. Most likely, they are just fuck heads who were never taught any manners and wouldn't know the word "tact" if it slapped them upside the head. These people make me want to spit nails. I want to beat them with an etiquette dictionary until their eyes bleed.

So, that said, lets talk about reviewers...and I'm going to be mean...because these people deserve it...and I'm petty like that....

Let's look at a reveiwer's post from FF.net:

Let me see... punctuation, incorrect usage of emphasis, spelling, grammar...horrid abuse of character design...

You sure are talented at...writing a horrendously OOC fanfiction.

I wouldn't really consider this a flame, although if I could, I would seriously consider pulling out the lighter and torching this piece of...fic...tion...

But consider what a flame is. I'd prefer this be referred to as... brutally honest critique.

Keep the Mary-Sue if you want, I personally hate them with a passion, but the Mary-Sue isn't the worst part about this thing. It's all the mechanical errors and the fact that you seem to have no understanding of the English language. (Doesn't it say somewhere on your bio that your first language is English? That's rather sad.)

You should (I won't use the words "need to") capitalize when necessary, use plural only when necessary, use correct punctuation, and check your spelling. It's "Kirlsa" not "Kirsal", and "Aquios" rather than "Aquarios". Unless I was sleeping through the whole game, which I'm pretty sure I wasn't.

In any case, I'd advise you find someone patient enough to sit through this and help you fix your mistakes. Actually, I recommend that you read through it yourself a couple dozen times before you torture a poor beta with it.

There are my two cents. And please don't retort by saying I write horribly myself. I know that already. You don't need to be a talented writer to critique someone's lack of writing skills.

Oh yes...this is a most helpful review, isn't it? Someone had PMS or gas when they wrote this...

Firstly, being a reviewer doesn't give you a right to be rude. Just because someone has had the balls to post something for the world to see doesn't make it fair game for the "jerks are us" birgade. No...give them a bit of respect, even if the story is horrible. It takes a lot of guts to post something so personal on the web, and writing is personal.

Secondly, if you can't say anything nice, keep your mouth shut. Anyone who knows anything about reviewing, understands that a critque isn't a chance to take pot shots at someone's work. No, a good critique involves honest, yet tactful input. If you can't pull that off, you have no business reviewing ANYTHING...not even my 10 year old son's English Castle report. The point of critiquing isn't to bash someone's work, but to help them...OMG, imagine that. Give them pointers on what was wrong, but also make an effort to point out the good points...they are there, even if the story is horrible. Make an effort to look for them folks, or you're just as lazy as the writer.

Thirdly, know the difference between objectivity and subjectivity. I get so pissed when people say things like "that's boring" or "it's too dull", and then go on to talk about how bad a story is because it didn't draw them in. This folks, is more often than not, and opinion. Boring doesn't tell an author anything. Dull doesn't say much either. What is boring or dull to you might not be boring or dull to a dozen other people out there. Keep these words out of reviews. A story can be FLAT...remember this word...but it's not the same as 'BORING'. I had a person reveiw one time and tell me how boring a story was...My reply was, "If it was so boring to you, why did you waste a half hour reading it? Are you some sort of idiot?" I don't buy Stephen King books or Dean Koontz because I think they're boring. I don't think their stories are bad (I've tried reading a few), but they just don't interest me. I won't waste time reading them....(Though I strongly recommend reading "On Writing" by Stephen King. That is an amazing book). I happen to love Anne Rice, but many people find her stories to wordy or dull. BORING is a matter of opinion.

Fourthly, (or whatever comes next), if you can't write decent stories yourself and you admit it, what the hell are you doing reviewing anything? Especially mean, hurtful reviews. Ever hear the phrase, "blind leading the blind"? Makes you shudder doesn't it? If you can't write crap in a bowl, you have no business leaving reviews like the one above. Any ounce of credibility you have has gone right out the window. Why should anyone listen to someone who admits they can't write decently? I sure as hell wouldn't.

Fifth, no one is perfect. Especially in the FF world. There is room for a variety of speculation and interpretation. Once again, opinion comes into play. Don't like Mary Sue's? Don't read the fucking fic if it has one. Doesn't take a dumbass to figure that out. Don't like AU settings? Once again, don't bother reading it. Something is OOC? Well, is it meant to be a serious fic or is suppose to be funny? Half the fun of fanfiction is messing with characters, and if you don't want your lily white series/game/book tampered with, stick to the orginal work. Duh....

Now...did this review come from one of my stories?

No, it didn't. I often read reviews before I read a fic and stumbled on this one. Yes, the story had horrid grammer, punctuation, and spelling problems. Apparently they suffer from dyslexia, or so they say. Who knows. It was hard to read, but even through all that was wrong, there was hope. The author of the story has the right idea and with more practice and help, could most likely write some decent stories.

No one starts out perfect. No one is born with a pen in their hand. My stories have errors, I know that. I appriciate people who point out grammer and spelling issues, or give me ideas on how to make stuff flow better. It doesn't bother me. Snippy people get their reviews deleted along with a nasty e-mail...but I've only had to do that once ( the "aspiring author" who told me my story was boring).

I'm fairly confident in my creativity and my writing ability...not entirely, but enough. I started writing in the fourth grade, got a book published and won an award (yay little me). I held A's all through school in the area of English and writing, was selected for a college prep english course in highschool which was incredibly difficult (I still have nightmares) and maintained A's until I graduated. In college, it was the same. All my English classes and Lit classes were easy, and I averaged anywhere from a 3.6 to 4.0 in them. If I put my mind to it, I can write a decent paper in a matter of a day or two. I wonder what would happen if I actually put effort into writing something...*laughs* Writing has always been easy for me (probably compensating for my utter patheticness when it comes to anything numerical). My only downfall is I tend to be lazy, slacking off on grammer, spelling, or just plain not giving it my all. I do that often...a bad character trait.

My son, who will be 10 on Tuesday is an amazing writer. It's incredible the way he can peice together a fairly complicated story and make it work. Even more astounding is he comes up with stuff on his own. His teacher has commented on his ability and it's something I intend to nurture. He is, however, like me, and tends to be lazy when something is too easy. *laughs*

To everyone who is writing something, keep your chin up. Accept help from others, because we all need it sometimes. Keep plugging away and you'll get it eventually. Also, when helping others, don't be an ass. Play nice with the other kiddies. I don't care how cold hearted you are, you know words can hurt, so put yourself in their shoes when writing nasty reviews.

(for the record, I don't spell check this blog. If I had the option, I would, and like I said, I'm too damn lazy to write these in Word. *laughs* Here, I write the way I would speak...foul language and all...)

Posted by Zoso at January 9, 2005 09:04 PM